MOST embarassing thing you've ever done?

[MarillionFan]

Getting a secretary to a politician drunk in the bars at the House of Commons. She completely changed like that bird in the Bruce Willis film.

I had to put her in a taxi from my hotel as the bar manager/staff looked at me in disgust as this pissed, rather short bird, drooled on the bar, uttering obscenities and shouting at the top of her voice - 'He's going to f-ck me in a minute and I like it up the arse'!!!

She then proceeded to yell 'Are you talking about me you bitch, you dirty whore as the hotel manager came over to me and told me to take her home'.

In moments like that, no matter how much you pray, the ground doesnt open up in front of you.

[Paddy]

Popping a viagra tablet each for a laugh with a new gf, then slipping on a condom only do discover it was a brand I was allergic to which made Little Johnny swell up to twice his normal size again!!!! Ouch.

Yes, I remember. It hurt me.

[Mr Crosby]

Getting a secretary to a politician drunk in the bars at the House of Commons. She completely changed like that bird in the Bruce Willis film.

I had to put her in a taxi from my hotel as the bar manager/staff looked at me in disgust as this pissed, rather short bird, drooled on the bar, uttering obscenities and shouting at the top of her voice - 'He's going to f-ck me in a minute and I like it up the arse'!!!

She then proceeded to yell 'Are you talking about me you bitch, you dirty whore as the hotel manager came over to me and told me to take her home'.

In moments like that, no matter how much you pray, the ground doesnt open up in front of you.

Did she take it up the arse?

[MarillionFan]

"Did she take it up the arse?"

On four occassions I took this bird out. On the first two she got destoyed and I had to a) Send her home, b) Put her to bed unconcious(?).

The third time I was pissed and a friend kept insulting me(first time I'd met her - must be a record). Eventually as she said 'Oh I saw the eclipse from a yacht in the solent, oh it was everso' Which was her word. I stood up in the restaurant and pretty much shouting - 'Do you know what you are, you're everso! Everso up your own f-cking arse'!!!! That was the end of that night!

The final time, she had had a lot to drink, but I had stopped her from ordering another bottle of wine, got her home, started to strip her off slowly while fumbling on the sofa (then no word of a lie) she got on to her hands and knees on the lounge floor, turned her back to give me the come on and put her back out(she'd broken it a few years back and suffered from a bad one). She then burst into tears and I had to put her to bed while I slept on the sofa.

Never saw her again after that.

I think I may have been in there.

[Flubster]

"Did she take it up the arse?"

On four occassions I took this bird out. On the first two she got destoyed and I had to a) Send her home, b) Put her to bed unconcious(?).

The third time I was pissed and a friend kept insulting me(first time I'd met her - must be a record). Eventually as she said 'Oh I saw the eclipse from a yacht in the solent, oh it was everso' Which was her word. I stood up in the restaurant and pretty much shouting - 'Do you know what you are, you're everso! Everso up your own f-cking arse'!!!! That was the end of that night!

The final time, she had had a lot to drink, but I had stopped her from ordering another bottle of wine, got her home, started to strip her off slowly while fumbling on the sofa (then no word of a lie) she got on to her hands and knees on the lounge floor, turned her back to give me the come on and put her back out(she'd broken it a few years back and suffered from a bad one). She then burst into tears and I had to put her to bed while I slept on the sofa.

Never saw her again after that.

I think I may have been in there.

And such is your luck, you are still a virgin.