Helium was up, feathers were down.Paper was stationary.Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.Knives were up sharply.Cow steered into a bull market.Pencils lost a few points.Hiking equipment was trailing.Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.Light switches were off.Mining equipment hit rock bottom.Diapers remain unchanged.Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.The market for raisins dried up.Coca Cola fizzled.Caterpiller stock inched up a bit.Sun peaked at midday.Balloon prices were inflated.Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
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CUK News
- How IR35 inflated an £8.5bn consultancy bill — and tests Burnham at the Budget Aug 28 07:47
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- Check your Loan Recall paperwork for the Isle of Man: it could matter Aug 25 03:27
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- Contractors, here are the late payment fixes that the Lords just turned down Aug 17 08:03
- How will HMRC's Direct Debit plan affect contractors paying VAT and PAYE? Aug 13 23:54
- HMRC's new 'reckless' tax offence: an IR35 game-changer for contractors? Aug 13 13:50
- “I’m not a Machiavellian overlord”: Adrian Sacco breaks his silence on the Contractor Loan Recalls Aug 13 06:50
