Hmm. 80 min train journey each way......

[psychocandy]

Travel-time to/from the train is definitely a factor. Not only 10min but you have to be there 5min early in case of a delay, even if there are trains every 15min then you add on time if you miss one.

Easy to say "it's just an hour on the train" and then find you actually leave the house more like 2hrs before you arrive to work, especially if you are a type who gets nervous about not missing trains.

This is so true. I live 10 mins drive from train station but of course, its 10 mins drive, 5 mins to find parking space, 5 mins walk from car, 5 mins so you dont miss train. All adds up.

[psychocandy]

My elder daughter was born while I was a permie - when she was 6 weeks, I started a new role 210 miles away from home. I negotiated from the start that I wanted part-time, and they agreed to let me work 5 days in 4. I would turn up on Monday about 10ish, and leave on Thursday night about 6ish - boot it home door-to-door in 3 hours, and then be responsible for the baby from Thursday night through to Sunday night.

Younger daughter was born during my first contract - I took two weeks off to be at home before returning to work, 230 miles from home. Project after that (she was a couple of months old) was 220 miles in the opposite direction, so stayed away again.

I've now had three years working from home with rare travel away, but they know that it's coming - when this gig ends, chances of having another one from home are pretty slim. Unless this lot offer me a decent paying permie role from home, which I don't think is going to happen.

It's about setting expectations. When I was away, every Sunday night, I'd have the following conversation with my elder daughter:

Her: I don't want you to go away
Me: Why does daddy have to go away?
Her: To go to work
Me: And why do I work away?
Her: So we can get money
Me: And why do we need money?
Her: To buy things
Me: What kind of things?
Her: Clothes and food and heating and a house and a car and things like that

She quickly learned that it wasn't that I didn't want to be at home, but if I didn't work away, there was no chance that we could live like we did. I would have loved to be at home all the time (maybe not as she nears the teenage years), but it just wasn't feasible - I invoice in a quarter what I earned in a year as a permie, so can have the same kind of lifestyle with much less work and longer breaks for holidays.

Just saw this post and its pretty relevant to my situation at the mo. Puts it into perspective a bit when I moan about long commutes but at least I can be home at nights.

Assume wife didnt work though during this spell? Of course, all of this assumes wife is able to cope/doesn't mind looking after baby alone during this time. But it can be tough on everyone involved.....

[DirtyDog]

Just saw this post and its pretty relevant to my situation at the mo. Puts it into perspective a bit when I moan about long commutes but at least I can be home at nights.

Assume wife didnt work though during this spell? Of course, all of this assumes wife is able to cope/doesn't mind looking after baby alone during this time. But it can be tough on everyone involved.....

When we moved from the south to the north, my wife stopped work because she found it impossible to get a teaching job near here. She did some temporary teaching roles, but when you are competing with over 200 people for the same role and not even getting an acknowledgement, it's not easy to find motivation.

We both suffered from depression with the first child (she more than I did), which was an absolute nightmare - I wouldn't wish what we were feeling on anyone. In the end, I left my consultancy position after that first year, and took a poorly paid, local permie role just to get some time at home. Ironically, that led me to being a contractor - I saw how crap the competition were and thought "I can do that!"

[psychocandy]

When we moved from the south to the north, my wife stopped work because she found it impossible to get a teaching job near here. She did some temporary teaching roles, but when you are competing with over 200 people for the same role and not even getting an acknowledgement, it's not easy to find motivation.

We both suffered from depression with the first child (she more than I did), which was an absolute nightmare - I wouldn't wish what we were feeling on anyone. In the end, I left my consultancy position after that first year, and took a poorly paid, local permie role just to get some time at home. Ironically, that led me to being a contractor - I saw how crap the competition were and thought "I can do that!"

In this case, her illness is physical (some sort of arthritis or something). Looking like it may be chronic. As you can imagine, makes things difficult. Shes on maternity at the moment but can't see going back to her normal job (as a nurse!) anytime soon.

But, hear what you're saying about depression. Would agree that its something that is very bad indeed. Wouldnt wish on my worse enemy.