Mumsnet linky - ok own up DH is a Winker

[EternalOptimist]

Precis

She was from a Broken home, she had a procession of 'uncles'.

they have grown up kids together with 2 grand children.

He had an affair a few years ago, its over. But she still doesn't trust him and mentally abuses him by checking up on his emails, texts and calls. For some reason he won't let her near his phone.

He spends too much on buying pigeons. He used to keep them when he was a teenager now is going back to it, she forbidded it! He went ahead anyway.

Her mum was terminally ill he was supportive but sex was not available.

he is now rubbing one out every night and trying to hide it from her.

In the bedroom he did like her dressing up and using lube but didn't want to play with sex toys.

Its all his fault !

what's with all this 'forbid' stuff ?

does anyone here 'forbid' things ? sounds a bit crap to me that does

[Hairy]

Mind you, I think some people would struggle with all the 'straight talking' that goes on in our household.

Best way. Wife and I are very honest to each other, and have never slept on an argument. Works fine, if a little uncomfortable for friends who sometimes get to hear us air a grievance.

[amcdonald]

Perhaps she's upset about him hiding while jerking it out; maybe she wants to watch him and then...

make him dip it in a beaker ?

[Mich the Tester]

It's a good thing you're both porkers, eh?

No, it's just me that does the porking.

[DodgyAgent]

Precis

She was from a Broken home, she had a procession of 'uncles'.

they have grown up kids together with 2 grand children.

He had an affair a few years ago, its over. But she still doesn't trust him and mentally abuses him by checking up on his emails, texts and calls. For some reason he won't let her near his phone.

He spends too much on buying pigeons. He used to keep them when he was a teenager now is going back to it, she forbidded it! He went ahead anyway.

Her mum was terminally ill he was supportive but sex was not available.

he is now rubbing one out every night and trying to hide it from her.

In the bedroom he did like her dressing up and using lube but didn't want to play with sex toys.

Its all his fault !

In other words he is a typical IT contractor

[DimPrawn]

In other words he is a typical IT contractor

Margins down this month then?

[MaryPoppins]

How am I tagged in a thread I've only just commented on?

I haven't read the link, the summary I'm getting here is hilarious enough!

[DodgyAgent]

Margins down this month then?

[MaryPoppins]

I've read it now and am almost entirely baffled by the entire post. Her typos are quite funny though:

as I walked in h leapt out of the bed like there'd beef an explosion

[d000hg]

Maybe we should try to make our site inaccessible to outsiders with acronyms too.

SY is a bw, etc.