Went for a massage

[vetran]

And then I woke up and realised the curtains were dirty

FTFY

[Old Hack]

You were ripped right off. You can get action like that for a fraction of the price in Somerset. Just ask for Big Hilda from Bridgwater and you are laughing...............allegedly!!
Mind you, you will be spitting hayseeds out of your teeth for days afterwards!

Well a big lardy gay sack like your self would know about these things