England post-mortem

[Dundeegeorge]

Alf, I'm fairly sure

that nobody on this board gives a flying fsck about the WAGs or all the tulip in the media. Why do you keep posting this tulip as if it matters?

[darmstadt]

By Theo Walcott Esq

By Theo Walcott Esq



I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other
grown up's. It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used
to live with his nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle Owen
does live there, and the grown up's say I cant talk about the bad man
as it will make Uncle Owen cry if I do. In Germany the grown ups are
going to play football.

On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and
wants to be my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so does
Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore. Uncle
Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle
Steven and Uncle David also talk foreign, my mum says Uncle David
talks like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears
dresses and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol
got me some pop.

While the grown up's went to play football so I went shopping with
Auntie Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and got
herself a little one but she said she was full before she had eaten any
and threw it away, then she got sick. She let me play with Brooklyn,
he is heavier than me.
She say's she used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs, I
think she was telling fibs.

I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he looked sad, then he
bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundred's & thousands on
it.
All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays
with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy,
that's why I got taken on holiday. The grown up's went to play Football
against somebody called Sweden, Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy
played for them and would not talk to him. Uncle Sol bought me lots of
toffee today and some crisps. Uncle Michael hurt his knee by standing
up and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle Peter is a
giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at football
though.

Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like it. He says all Germans
wear leather underpants and I should while we are here, they are too
tight for me.

All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a pikey crunt who stood
on somebodys nads. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all
saying that we have to go home now. Uncle Sol was crying again and I
had to sit on his knee to make him stop. His mobile phone made me feel
sore.

[AtW]

P.S. I also got my provisional license, at last I can drive Ferrari!

[Dundeegeorge]

Nice one Alexei

P.S. I also got my provisional license, at last I can drive Ferrari!

You can now get enough points on your license to get banned while in 2nd gear. Mind you I doubt we could stand the whining if that happened, I still shudder remembering the fuss you kicked up when you only thought you'd been caught by a camera last time!!!!!!

[threaded]

P.S. I also got my provisional license, at last I can drive Ferrari!

I drove a Mercedes 300 SL Gullwing with L plates on when I were but a lad. Insurance cost more than the car, that was before the prices of classic cars went silly, but still it was a sizable chunk of money to hand over.