Putting kids through private school, or moving house to get to a better school

[doodab]

The rest of what you say is logical - though obvious- I am not quite sure though what you mean by this and why you think it necessary to begin your point with these remarks.

I thought you went to a good school and could understand English?

Anyway, what it means is what it says.

a) Top private schools get the best results and dominate the league tables (see here: BBC News - Secondary league tables: Best A/AS level results)
b) They are not very affordable even for families with a greater than average income
c) As access to the best education is restricted to those who can afford it, and education has a strong influence on economic status in later life, we get a feedback loop that means those who went to a fee paying school are more likely to be in a position to send their own children to a fee paying school than those who didn't.

[Troll]

We looked at this seriously and decided to move to an area with great schools and have not been let down. I'd advise anyone to find a good school and move. Grammar and private school is tough; you think you have money, but you're up against some incredibly wealthy kids and the 12k fees are nothing when you start to think about the school trips, other expensive sports gear they need and just to maintain friendships. We have some friends here currently who have 3 kids in Private education. They have a Joint income of £175k and are as poor as church mice. There's a lot of bullying, regarding status, in the school. If daddy is a code monkey only earning low 6 figures, they aren't going to be invited to the best of parties, and as for the parents, they're worse; the wife has never been invited out to any drinks with the mummies as she is 'only' a middle manager.

Seriously.

The point about the "extras" is very valid - the little fookers were always off skiing or some such jolly and it all has to be factored in .
Status - the kids were made aware that we could do so much but like life there are always going to be richer people around and you have to learn to live within your means. While we did & still do socialise with other parents it was a very much take it or leave it arrangement

The only scenario I can recall was the school had a lot of wealthy Russian (& Chinese) pupils and they would invite the kids to spend summer in their dads dacha... which we always got out of by arranging our own summer holidays. But one of the advantages is the contacts they have made with the next generation of Ruskie oligarch - or Chinese Millionaire should they go into business themselves

[Old Hack]

The only scenario I can recall was the school had a lot of wealthy Russian (& Chinese) pupils and they would invite the kids to spend summer in their dads dacha... which we always got out of by arranging our own summer holidays. But one of the advantages is the contacts they have made with the next generation of Ruskie oligarch - or Chinese Millionaire should they go into business themselves

I have girls, so maybe this is a plan b - Get them all married off to Gas and Oil oligarchs

[yasockie]

To sum up what others have said:
No point in wasting money in the early years - rather than working longer hours, spend the time with your kids and upskill them yourself.
With the money saved you can then easily save up for the Uni or their first (failed) startup company.
If you really want to move then go ahead, but it is not an essential criteria for the success of your kids.
Fortunately or not my schools have never been best and I'm clocking decent rates right now so there is not as much correlation as some would make you believe.

[original PM]

I suppose my question would be

'What is it that currently concerns you about the ability of your kids?'

Do you feel they are slipping behind (if so slipping behind what) or do you just feel they would benefit from private education?

Also a good point a lot of people make about connections however if you are not of the right type then your kids will be ignored/not get well connected anyway.

And finally there are many other ways to get connection but as always some connections are only available to those whose mummies and daddies are already connected.

[al_cam]

There's a lot of bullying, regarding status, in the school. If daddy is a code monkey only earning low 6 figures, they aren't going to be invited to the best of parties, and as for the parents, they're worse; the wife has never been invited out to any drinks with the mummies as she is 'only' a middle manager.
Seriously.

This is very true. I have long said private school kids have a "superiority complex". I was brought up in a good area where many of the local kids went to private schools (not me). Many of them (not all) openly felt that they were better than the rest of us and as a result were complete tossers. I'm not sure if it was the schooling that did this or if it was the sort of parents that send their kids to private schools that did this but my kids aren't going to private school. Thankfully, we are lucky to have good local schools but I would move if need be.

[mudskipper]

This is very true. I have long said private school kids have a "superiority complex". I was brought up in a good area where many of the local kids went to private schools (not me). Many of them (not all) openly felt that they were better than the rest of us and as a result were complete tossers. I'm not sure if it was the schooling that did this or if it was the sort of parents that send their kids to private schools that did this but my kids aren't going to private school. Thankfully, we are lucky to have good local schools but I would move if need be.

My son's at a state grammar, and he tells me the kids refer to the non-grammar school kids as 'plebs'. Not sure if this is just post gategate!

[mudskipper]

Blimey - for the cost of a private education, you could buy them a flat/house each.

[MyUserName]

This is very true. I have long said private school kids have a "superiority complex". I was brought up in a good area where many of the local kids went to private schools (not me). Many of them (not all) openly felt that they were better than the rest of us and as a result were complete tossers. I'm not sure if it was the schooling that did this or if it was the sort of parents that send their kids to private schools that did this but my kids aren't going to private school. Thankfully, we are lucky to have good local schools but I would move if need be.

Kids will be kids wherever you go.

We have the option of sending my daughter to a private church school which we will probably take as they have the resources to stretch her, rather amazing, mind and handle her aspergers syndrone.

[SantaClaus]

IMO, Ofsted results are useless. Even the "outstanding" schools aren't great. Also bear in mind that whilst your children our being educated at a state school, they are exposed to all kinds of politically correct nonsense, given the cervical cancer vaccine at 12, taught that "it's the taking part that counts, not the winning" (when we all know, only those at the top of their game do well), etc., etc.

Best thing is to send the kids to private primary school to prepare them for the 11+. Then they will be streets ahead of the state-schooled children when you apply for a top grammar school.

Simples!