Rape Crisis

[NorthWestPerm2Contr]

From the Beeb


Left to Rape Crisis, any man before entertaining any thoughts of having sex with a woman, must first view himself as a potential sex offender. In order to fulfill legal safety measures and obligations, the man should first make a written application to the woman and if his application is successful, the woman will provide her consent by virtue of a witnessed signature. The application is only valid for one session of insertion after which a continuation application must be made, signed and witnessed. A continuation application is NOT valid for a period of time exceeding 1 hour since previous insertion. A new complete application should be made in such circumstance.

OK then, so far so good. Now then ... what is on the application form ?

• Passport style photo of the applicant
• Name and address of applicant
• Proof of identity
• Occupation
• Salary
• CRB check
• References
• oh ... and the Application fee of course

The woman keeps the top copy and the applicant keeps the 2nd copy. 3rd copy must be sent to RapeCrisis or some other authorised regulatory body within 24 hours by the applicant.

Simples. Seems fair enough to me.

For the 2nd round, you will just need a simple extension form. E.g.

Please sign here to accept an extension based on the original contract. There is a notice period in this extension, however, of 20 minutes for which you will have to immediately withdraw.

Kind of reminds me of my last Barclays contract.....

[OwlHoot]

Galloway is a self publicising prick. He says and does things purely to get his name in the paper and keep his profile in the public eye

He also says and does things to curry favour with muslim voters.

Whether this is one of them I can't be sure, but I suspect so.

[NorthWestPerm2Contr]

He also says and does things to curry favour with muslim voters.

Whether this is one of them I can't be sure, but I suspect so.

Hmmm.... to be honest, I don't think a lot of Mulsims would be too happy to hear such explicit details of sexual relations...

[BobTheCrate]

Well what with Dodgy gleefully acting as my substitute and George Galloway constantly 'sticking his nose in', doesn't sound like I'd get much of a look in anyway and all my compliance paperwork would be for nothing.

"Virginity my old friend ..."

[BobTheCrate]

For the 2nd round, you will just need a simple extension form. E.g.

Please sign here to accept an extension based on the original contract. There is a notice period in this extension, however, of 20 minutes for which you will have to immediately withdraw.

Kind of reminds me of my last Barclays contract.....

[TestMangler]

He also says and does things to curry favour with muslim voters.

Whether this is one of them I can't be sure, but I suspect so.

Titter !!

[MaryPoppins]

ComedyFail thread of the day.

+1

[d000hg]

An invitation to sex is not isn't like inviting a vampire into your house.

[SupremeSpod]

An invitation to sex is not isn't like inviting a vampire into your house.

How the **** would you know, nerd boy?

[d000hg]

Oh I'm sorry, this thread is only for people who have first-hand experience of rape claims? In that case you're right, I'll bow out.