Seen on the back of a van

[KentPhilip]

Nothing to do with vans, but once when I was pretty pissed after a night out with some friends...several beers in Maidenhead I thought it was best time to get a taxi...put my hand out at the traffic light and this car changed lane and stopped next to me at the lights. I jumped in the passenger seat, put the seatbelt on and said to him "To Uxbridge, please"...

He had this very strange look on his face and with a very shaky voice said "Er, I'm not a taxi, mate".

I said "Oh, OK..." and undid my seatbelt, mumbled my apologies and promptly got out.

I had it the opposite way round. I was in my car on Oxford Street last year and a pissed bloke got in at the lights and said "to Archway please". Now ever the eye for a quick buck I thought I'd take him there. I could have sworn Archway was near Holborn (I was born out of earshot of the bow bells you see), so I drove over to Holborn before I realised my mistake (I was thinking of Kingsway or Aldwych). But I had an appointment so was out of time. I said I had got it wrong and said there would be no charge, and returned a £20 note I had taken as a deposit. He said thanks very much, got out, and was never seen again. He never did realise I wasn't a taxi.

[Fleetwood]

That needs a comma.

A hyphen or a colon