The "I could have told you that for nothing" award for scientific research goes to...

[BrilloPad]

Do bears tulip in the woods?

Not while they hibernate

[pmeswani]

Not while they hibernate

We need to research this to make sure.

[TimberWolf]

The Pope definitely doesn't tulip in the woods.

[NotAllThere]

What happens is that some project publishes. It's picked up by a science journalist, who writes an eye-catching headline, which is read by non-scientists, who then think that what's been studied wasn't at all worthwhile, even if they bother reading the article itself, because they're relying on the journo's interpretation, which is itself aimed at the non-scientific.

It's worse when it's a big story because while the science journalist usually has some background in science, they'll be relatively junior. Big stories go to big names who's science understanding is often zero. Then you end up with, e.g. autism/mmr scares.

This particular bit of research "..was to find out how close, intimate relationships vary over a lifetime. This kind of anthropological study is normally very difficult to do because it is hard for researchers to get such a big picture of people's lives. But by looking at an at an extremely large mobile phone database, they were able to track these changes extremely accurately. "

The headline was just one result that the journalist thought would be most relevant to the average thick as pigtulip reader. It wasn't the purpose of the research.

There was a similar reaction to the "study of beer bubbles". The actual application of that was to do with fusion reactors, IIRC.

[Pogle]

Have they worked out what women use the internet for yet?

Why shopping of course

[Diver]

Why shopping of course

A little basic research would indicate that shopping takes second place to chatting through social networking sites........

Source - Wife

[hyperD]

So which brand of gassy beer goes best in a fusion reactor?

Heineken. Because it refreshes the quarks that other beers cannot reach.