CUK Fart Club

[mudskipper]

Why, when I have eaten mainly vegetables for the last two weeks (had 7 of my 5 a day yesterday) am I so constipated? And windy? Haven't tulipped for about 4 days.

Might have to stock up on speckled hen to sort me out.

[MarillionFan]

You know what you need don't you.

[mudskipper]

You know what you need don't you.

I don't think a trip up the oxo tower will help in this case.

[mudskipper]

Hmmmm.



Edit: MF is a numpty

[MarillionFan]

I don't think a trip up the oxo tower will help in this case.

???

Last thing you need is a trip to a restaurant. I was thinking more prune juice.

[Zippy]

Maybe you need a little fat to - ahem - oil the wheels?

Edit: or have a fag.Nicotine helps apparently.

[mudskipper]

Maybe you need a little fat to - ahem - oil the wheels?

Edit: or have a fag.Nicotine helps apparently.

1yr, 13 months (or is that 2yrs 1 month) since my last ciggy. 21 years since I gave up smoking...

[mudskipper]

The fallout from this thread turned out to be more eventful than anticipated. A missed opportunity! Thanks for making me laugh.


Night all.


See you for tomorrow's weigh in. Hopefully post dumping a pound or two...

[suityou01]

???

Last thing you need is a trip to a restaurant. I was thinking more prune juice.

Ooh she is so base. Get your mind out of the gutter K2P2.

I do hope she didn't offend your sensibilities MF.

[TimberWolf]

Why, when I have eaten mainly vegetables for the last two weeks (had 7 of my 5 a day yesterday) am I so constipated? And windy? Haven't tulipped for about 4 days.

Might have to stock up on speckled hen to sort me out.

I would have expected wind and constipation to be bed fellows, as the wind making microbes make hay from feeding on vegetation that humans can't otherwise digest.

I heard on QI the other day that 5-a-day in other countries is often much higher than it is in the UK. 10/day or something in France. I still find it hard to accept that it is 5 per day and not per month. Does an apple only count as 1 ffs?