What is it with British hotels not having a phone in the loo?

[Mich the Tester]

I'm terribly sorry but hoh else would one call the butlah to wipe one's posterior? Aside from pulling the butler chain, that is.

Butlers do not wipe posteriors; they carry out far more dignified tasks than that. You are thinking of coolies, and I could get into trouble for using that term, but even coolies do not wipe posteriors; that is something that a gentleman is expected to do for himself.

[Mich the Tester]

How on earth do you slow poo'ers manage in turd world countries like France where you have to squat?

We visit civilised countries instead.

[TimberWolf]

Butlers do not wipe posteriors; they carry out far more dignified tasks than that. You are thinking of coolies, and I could get into trouble for using that term, but even coolies do not wipe posteriors; that is something that a gentleman is expected to do for himself.

Oohoh, old bean, you make telephone calls and read the papah whilst ohn the watah closet, but get all hoity toity about calling the butlah to wipe your posterior afterwards. That's double standaaards sir!

[Mich the Tester]

Oohoh, old bean, you make telephone calls and read the papah whilst ohn the watah closet, but get all hoity toity about calling the butlah to wipe your posterior afterwards. That's double standaaards sir!

Indeed, and I would certainly not refer to a loo as a 'water closet'; and definitely not that frightful word beginning with toil...

[gingerjedi]

Butlers do not wipe posteriors; they carry out far more dignified tasks than that. You are thinking of coolies, and I could get into trouble for using that term, but even coolies do not wipe posteriors; that is something that a gentleman is expected to do for himself.

Who provides the swan?