Rules of the workplace lavatory

[SneakySimon]

Watch under the seat.....

Two horrific incidents:

1. Working in Paris and the toilets were shared. Went to toilet and sat down, anyway, after perhaps 15 mins I am about to stand up and see my member is covered in blood. Had a minor heart attack then, when finding on visible injuries on member, looked under the seat and realised a previous lady must have used the toilet and left behind a bonus.

2. Sat down doing my business, I start wipeing my butt and then half way through feel an odd feeling on the back of my hand. I bring my hand up and see sh!t smeared over the back of my hand. Even worse, it is not mine - there is a big dollup under the back of the seat.

Suffice to say, I now inspect every seat prior to sitting down.

[Chaffinch]

Two horrific incidents:

1. Working in Paris and the toilets were shared. Went to toilet and sat down, anyway, after perhaps 15 mins I am about to stand up and see my member is covered in blood. Had a minor heart attack then, when finding on visible injuries on member, looked under the seat and realised a previous lady must have used the toilet and left behind a bonus.

2. Sat down doing my business, I start wipeing my butt and then half way through feel an odd feeling on the back of my hand. I bring my hand up and see sh!t smeared over the back of my hand. Even worse, it is not mine - there is a big dollup under the back of the seat.

Suffice to say, I now inspect every seat prior to sitting down.

Erm, erm ................ thanks for sharing ........................erm

I was thinking along the lines of:

"Always wash your hands afterwards"

but, erm, ta

[MarillionFan]

Striking up a conversation with the person next to you at the urinals. My cock is in my hand, I'm having a piss, I don't want to know about 'What you had for lunch','What youre' doing at the weekend','The price of gold','Or who your wife is sleeping with'

[Arturo Bassick]

Erm, erm ................ thanks for sharing ........................erm

I was thinking along the lines of:

"Always wash your hands afterwards"

but, erm, ta

WHS

[SneakySimon]

Erm, erm ................ thanks for sharing ........................erm

I was thinking along the lines of:

"Always wash your hands afterwards"

but, erm, ta

Too much info? Apologies, but this all needs to be brough out.

When I aim to spend 30 mins a day of every contract in the bathroom, a lot can happen and I was wanting to share my war stories!

[TinTrump]

Before flushing, I shut the lid. Afterwards, I check the torpedo tube has been emptied.

Current landlady is vegetarian & often leaves floaters. Always a nasty surprise.

[darmstadt]

Before flushing, I shut the lid. Afterwards, I check the torpedo tube has been emptied.

Current landlady is vegetarian & often leaves floaters. Always a nasty surprise.

Can't be bothered going to the loo so had my office chair converted into a commode

[Pondlife]

I can't believe I'm having to explain this to you lot but it's simple.

On day one of your contract you print an "Out of Order - Please use HR facilities" sign and stick it on the cubicle door as soon as the cleaners have finished working on it.

[EternalOptimist]

1. Always check for paper before sitting down

2. If it's cold, or if you endowed with the smaller saus, always make sure, when sitting down and weeing, thats its not going straight under the seat and into the back of your trousers. It happened to , er, a friend of mine <cough>

[SneakySimon]

Checking for paper - good call

Always forget and find paper ran out - have to to a timely dash into another trap.

This toilet business is dangerous!!