Cringeworthy moments

[suityou01]

Our tumble drier broke down recently and I, suspecting the thermal cut out, removed it and took it to the electrical store near us to order a new one.

I went in and asked for one.

"Certainly sir. A Beko DRVS62W. And where was it?"

"Under the counter in the kitchen".

"No sir, the thermal cut out. Where was it on the machine, front or back?"

[MarillionFan]

God, this must be one of the most embarrassing days of my short life.

There is a film company making a sit-com right outside where I work. Its caused a real problem for my parking, but I got my own back by joining the food queue for beef in black bean sauce yesterday.

Anyways, at about 9 this am, I gets a twinge in my belly. Panic. I cant use the bogs in clientco, because its a small office, and there is no place to hide.
So I makes an excuse about my car, blah blah, parking, and headed off across the road. they MUST have temporary actors bogs.

AHAH. I was right. just off from the film units parking, on the croquet green, was a portable bog.
So I dived in, keks down, jeez h chr1st, what an explosion. It looked like that pile of triceratops dung in jurassic park. So I started to toggle the handle, and all this blue liquid came out, and my dollop got washed down. But I could tell by the sound, it didnt drop far.

Please God, let this portable bog be connected up to a septic tank. please please please.

So I got dressed, and left , trying to look inconspicuous. had a quick shufty
there on the grass, next to the path, was my steaming pile, with a little flag of bog roll waving in the wind.


but thats not the embarrassing bit. because I got away with that. noone saw me

at 11:30, I got another twinge.

This time I headed for the pub. but the windows were all covered with black masking. The door was covered in black blankets and there were lights pointing in. pub closed. I could tell that I had a minute at the most.
Round to the next pub - opens at 12.
So I headed for the car park, hid behind a van, and sh@t for britain.

I had to walk round to my car, covered in sh1te, drive home, clothes in the washing machine, scrub my boots, and me in the shower.




luckily, I can tell youse lot, because your my friends

[KimberleyChris]

1. Getting my first car at 20ish, and ending up getting to serious grips in the back with a 30-something on a boozy girl's night out.

2. 15 years later, being invited round for Sunday lunch by my new girlfriend's parents.

You're way ahead of me, aren't you?

Grinnnnnnge....

[suityou01]

1. Getting my first car at 20ish, and ending up getting to serious grips in the back with a 30-something on a boozy girl's night out.

2. 15 years later, being invited round for Sunday lunch by my new girlfriend's parents.

You're way ahead of me, aren't you?

Grinnnnnnge....

It was her father?

You raving felchlord

[KimberleyChris]

Bugger...outed on CUK!

Still, I work in Nuclear, so if you can't fill a brown envelope and don't know which knuckle to squeeze, I don't suppose a bit of light poovery on the side will do any harm if it gets you the gig

[KimberleyChris]

Must add that I later graduated to a Mk.1 Ford Escort van with mirrored back windows and a double mattress in the back.

Happy days.

Rest in peace, RAF Burtonwood...half of Warrington was probably conceived there :-)