Accidenture

[Mordac]

Just got an email from their HR monkeys, thanking me for applying for a junior firewall engineer position (22K ), and inviting me to update my "online profile".
"Curious," thinks I, for I have never (and would never) apply for Accidenture, having encountered them in the wild.
ANyway, I logged in, ticked a few boxes (skills, education etc. - I left the career aspirations section blank ) and got to the covering letter page, upon which I entered the following:

Please disregard this application, as it was not made by me. One of your over-zealous HR cretins entered my details without my permission.
I do not feel I would be suitable for a career with Accenture, as most of my projects have been successfully delivered.

(minus the banana, their webtulipe won't take smileys for some strange reason)

What do you reckon, will I get called for interview or not? Failing that, can I sue the bollocks off them for using my data without permission?

[milanbenes]

you're smart,

will be very useful to have that on their system
if you ever contract for them

you remain, da man !

Milan.

[Mordac]

Milan, having encountered them in the past, I would rather have my eyes gouged out by a blunt teaspoon than be "employed" by Accenture. My rate probably put them off anyway.

The same goes for Atos, btw.

[milanbenes]

I'm not so choosy as yourself, call me old fashioned I don't mind having such names on my cv as people I have contracted to

you stick with your Noddy SME's as customers I am sure you have lots of fun working from industrial estates in interesting places like basingstoke completing your windows 2000 upgrades

Milan.

[Mordac]

Basingstoke was years ago. Normally, I'd agree with you, but I absolutely draw the line at Accenture. Call me old fashioned, but I don't happen to share their ethos, which is basically unprintable, for obvious legal reasons.

[milanbenes]

are you an eco-warrior

a contractor with a concience ?

only joking Mordy, it's nearly the weekend

how's your old mate MF, he's been quiet this year

how are his tat shops ?

Milan.

[thunderlizard]

ugh, industrial estates. 48 year old blokes with straggly beards, cartoon ties, button-down collars and suits with practically no elbows left.

I had a short term contract on one back in my student days, and they were so stressed out about the deadline for their noddy reporting database that I had one of them giving me an overview of the requirements while another one was giving me the compulsory health and safety briefing at the same time.

[Denny]

Just got an email from their HR monkeys, thanking me for applying for a junior firewall engineer position (22K ), and inviting me to update my "online profile".
"Curious," thinks I, for I have never (and would never) apply for Accidenture, having encountered them in the wild.
ANyway, I logged in, ticked a few boxes (skills, education etc. - I left the career aspirations section blank ) and got to the covering letter page, upon which I entered the following:

Please disregard this application, as it was not made by me. One of your over-zealous HR cretins entered my details without my permission.
I do not feel I would be suitable for a career with Accenture, as most of my projects have been successfully delivered.

(minus the banana, their webtulipe won't take smileys for some strange reason)

What do you reckon, will I get called for interview or not? Failing that, can I sue the bollocks off them for using my data without permission?

For your information, those HR Accentidure monkeys, as you call them, are part of an outsourced legal entity called Accenture HR - they are not part of the Accenture parent company. They also work for BT and other large organisations.

I worked for Accenture parent company on a project a few years back and before them for various short term assignments and I found them to be very professional and on-the-ball outfit. A bit nepotistic maybe, but far better than some organisations I've worked for.

I guess each to their own.

[Mordac]

They may be "Accidental HR" or whatever, but they still took my details from another site and entered them on their own system without consulting me. I wouldn't have minded, but for the fact it was for a junior firewall engineer position, paying £22K. I've never been a firewall engineer, junior or otherwise. One of them might have had the decency to actually read my CV, or even speak to me beforehand. So as far as I'm concerned, professional they ain't. And I have had an interview with Accenture, (for a contract role) which went swimmingly until the HR interview. Upon which the spotty grad picked up his script and asked me what my career aspirations within Accenture were. My answer was "to be in a position to negotiate a renewal in 3 months time".
Completely f**ked his script, and I didn't get the job. Apparently HR goons carry equal weight in the selection process. No wonder they are full of brown-nosing feckwits.

[Denny]

They may be "Accidental HR" or whatever, but they still took my details from another site and entered them on their own system without consulting me. I wouldn't have minded, but for the fact it was for a junior firewall engineer position, paying £22K. I've never been a firewall engineer, junior or otherwise. One of them might have had the decency to actually read my CV, or even speak to me beforehand. So as far as I'm concerned, professional they ain't. And I have had an interview with Accenture, (for a contract role) which went swimmingly until the HR interview. Upon which the spotty grad picked up his script and asked me what my career aspirations within Accenture were. My answer was "to be in a position to negotiate a renewal in 3 months time".
Completely f**ked his script, and I didn't get the job. Apparently HR goons carry equal weight in the selection process. No wonder they are full of brown-nosing feckwits.

HR are pretty terrible in most organisations, from my experience of them.

I had a similar interview with an agency a while back - a face-to-face with the recruiter in their office. Normally, I don't entertain that idea at all, but I was up in town and I thought 'what the hell' if it means a chance of this contract.

The recruiter then started asking me all sort of permie type questions - what would be your ideal role? What sort of role are you really aspiring toward, what are your strengths and weaknesses and so on. I just cut across him at this stage without really answering any of them and told him that these were inappropriate questions for an interim and that told him that it was irrelevant to ask contractors permie questions like 'how did I see myself in 5 years time and so on.' I was careful to point out that relevance and getting to the point was intrinsic to the nature of my role so I got away with it. He soon shut up and got down to the nitty gritty of the contract details, rates etc. I still got forwarded for the role and am awaiting the outcome.