Virgin Mary's Face Appears in Wet Spot: Link
THE BLESSED MOTHER DECLINED TO BE INTERVIEWED for this article. She also refused a $10,000,000 offer to appear naked in Penthouse. Through her press agent in Tel Aviv, she delivered the following statement:
I understand that being a media figure tends to open up one's private life for public speculation, but the media have caused my family and me untold mental distress regarding the Shroud of Troutdale. Once and for all: Yes, that's my face. And yes, I have a "special man" in my life. But the cruel allegations that I'm no longer a virgin and have been spotted in London night clubs disco-dancing with Guy Ritchie are forming the basis of a libel lawsuit which I can and will pursue. No one has the right to get upset if I choose to have a little fun these days. It's been a long time coming.
