- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Sad News
Collapse
X
-
-
You should have gone to Jodrell Bank for inspirationOriginally posted by gricerboy View PostI thought of a great punchline the other day.
The Large Hardon Collider.
Just couldn't think of a story to lead up to it.Doing the needful since 1827Comment
-
Like end itOriginally posted by DimPrawn View PostYou do realise that your life is short and in the time it took you to write that crap you could have done something useful with your life?Let us not forget EU open doors immigration benefits IT contractors more than anyoneComment
-
-
Originally posted by gricerboy View PostI thought of a great punchline the other day.
The Large Hardon Collider.
Just couldn't think of a story to lead up to it.
In Cern they decided to check out the common sense of the physicists, so they put a physicist and a scouser in a room, in a chair.
On the other side of the room is a lovely naked blonde.
the experimeter says, every five minutes, i will move the chair halfway towards the blonde.
So the physicist storms out
'Stupid. everyone know I will never get there, I am going to play with my large Hadron collider'
The scouser laughs
'Lets start, by ten oclock, I will be close enough for my large hardon collider'
(\__/)
(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Should a new limited company not making much money pay a salary/dividend? Feb 13 08:43
- Blocking the 2025 Loan Charge settlement opportunity from being a genuine opportunity is… HMRC Feb 12 07:41
- How a buyer’s market in UK property for 2026 is contractors’ double-edge sword Feb 11 07:12
- Why PAYE overcharging by HMRC is every contractor’s problem Feb 10 06:26
- Government unveils ‘Umbrella Company Regulations consultation’ Feb 9 05:55
- JSL rules ‘are HMRC’s way to make contractor umbrella company clients give a sh*t where their money goes’ Feb 8 07:42
- Contractors warned over HMRC charging £3.5 billion too much Feb 6 03:18
- Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) for umbrella company contractors: an April 2026 explainer Feb 5 07:19
- IR35: IT contractors ‘most concerned about off-payroll working rules’ Feb 4 07:11
- Labour’s near-silence on its employment status shakeup is telling, and disappointing Feb 3 07:47

Comment