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joke...

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    joke...

    A Contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds
    himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are
    singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting
    his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

    Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter
    himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the
    Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've
    been waiting a long time for you."

    Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the Contractor sheepishly
    looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a
    God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10
    Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember
    doing anything really special when I was alive."

    "Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the
    man's modesty. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160
    years old! God himself wants to see you!"

    The designer is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his
    mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at
    Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope
    that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but
    I only lived to be forty".

    "That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your
    time sheets."

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience". Mark Twain

    #2
    Lol!

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