Rooney makes the Daily Mash

[chef]

quality journalism as always

[DimPrawn]

Meanwhile some England fans stressed the exposé had once again forced them to imagine what Rooney's orgasm face might look like.

Wayne Hayes, from Hatfield, said: "I reckon it's like an angry, sunburnt tortoise that's just stubbed its toe."

Quality.

[MaryPoppins]

Quality.

Just about to quote that exact bit. I love the Daily Mash.

[Scrag Meister]

Oops LOL moment in the office!!

[Mich the Tester]

"Merseyside shell suit boutique"

[Alf W]

Apparently Everton fans are lining this ditty up to greet the White Heskey on Saturday

Who's that slapper in the Lowry?
Who's that dirty f***ing whore?
It's a thousand pound a pop,
And she said he was a flop.
And he won't be shagging Coleen anymore!!!

[Gibbon]

How do they know that Rooney and I share the same brain?

Slanderous - if I was Rooney I'd sue.

[mudskipper]

Just about to quote that exact bit. I love the Daily Mash.

Closely followed by (in reference to the lovely Colleen):

"But unfortunately this is the guaranteed outcome when you hitch your wagon to an arse-faced millionaire with the brain of a stuffed gibbon."

[Alf W]

Change of plan. Apparently "No woman, no Kai" is the one to listen out for on MOTD.

[MayContainNuts]

Wayne Rooney was a few years below me at school. I played in goal against him in my last year. I'd like to say he was rubbish and didn't score. He did!