Shoes too small

[Zippy]

I have exactly the same problem with a pair of brogues I bought. Unfortunately, unlike your trainers, they cost £200.

As I've learned the hard way now, never listen to stupid salespeople who say you'll "grow into them" and/or "they're the largest size we have".

Find a poor person with the same sized feet and bung them a tenner to break them in. Sorted.
(one of my birthday pressies was the Viz Top Tips compendium)

[TimberWolf]

So you spent £20 on shoes that don't fit and trousers you don't like?

If all you got for your £20 was a shirt you could have just gone to M&S.

I like the shoes, they are just a bit tougher than anticipated, being moulded plastic rather than leather or whatnot. I may cut the trouser pockets off, although they would come in handy if ever I go on safari. I'm not sure why safari people have those pockets, but they always seem to have them.

A bit like these:


Smart eh?

[MarillionFan]

All of my shoes are handmade from the finest crocodile skin.

[doodab]

You aren't going to "break in" moulded plastic shoes by wearing them. You need to piss in them and leave them overnight. The urea will soften the plastic temporarily making it possible for you to stretch them by wearing them the next day.

[TimberWolf]

You aren't going to "break in" moulded plastic shoes by wearing them. You need to piss in them and leave them overnight. The urea will soften the plastic temporarily making it possible for you to stretch them by wearing them the next day.

That works well for leather, and has done for millennia, but moulded plastic will laugh in the face of piss.

[doodab]

That works well for leather, and has done for millennia, but moulded plastic will laugh in the face of piss.

I was secretly trying to persuade you to piss in your shoes. Clearly you are too smart to be so easily hoodwinked. And yet you shop in primark. The universe is full of such paradoxes. Only by contemplating them can we become truly wise.

PS I had no idea urine softened leather. Thanks for the tip

[TimberWolf]

I was secretly trying to persuade you to piss in your shoes. Clearly you are too smart to be so easily hoodwinked. And yet you shop in primark. The universe is full of such paradoxes. Only by contemplating them can we become truly wise.

PS I had no idea urine softened leather. Thanks for the tip

Okay, I'll give pissing in my shoes a go.

[northernladuk]

Okay, I'll give pissing in my shoes a go.

Oddly enough I end up doing this every Friday and Saturday and my shoes fit perfectly... Hmmm...

Anyway, amke a change from you contantly pissing in your pants at least... or did you get that sorted?

[northernladuk]

All of my shoes are handmade from the finest crocodile skin.

I hear you man. I can't shop in Primark as my bespoke Britton cufflinks always set the alarms off. Shame.

[sasguru]

Okay, I'll give pissing in my shoes a go.

Just lend them to Wilmslow.