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Competition for the best joke of the day

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    #21
    Re: kinds

    Actually, this code is even funnier:

    Code:
     &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp 
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp     #define/**/X
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp   char*d="X0[!4cM,!"
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp        "4cK`*!4cJc(!4cHg&!4c$j"
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp      "8f'!&~]9e)!'|:d+!)rAc-!*m*"
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp    ":d/!4c(b4e0!1r2e2!/t0e4!-y-c6!"
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp   "+|,c6!)f$b(h*c6!(d'b(i)d5!(b*a'`&c"
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp   ")c5!'b+`&b'c)c4!&b-_$c'd*c3!&a.h'd+"
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp  "d1!%a/g'e+e0!%b-g(d.d/!&c*h'd1d-!(d%g)"
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp "d4d+!*l,d7d)!,h-d;c'!.b0c>d%!A`Dc$![7)35E"
           "!'1cA,,!2kE`*!-s@d(!(k(f//g&!)f.e5'f(!+a+)"
           "f%2g*!?f5f,!=f-*e/!<d6e1!9e0'f3!6f)-g5!4d*b"
           "+e6!0f%k)d7!+~^'c7!)z/d-+!'n%a0(d5!%c1a+/d4"
           "!2)c9e2!9b;e1!8b>e/!     7cAd-!5fAe+!7fBe(!"
          "8hBd&!:iAd$![7S,Q0!1     bF 7!1b?'_6!1c,8b4"
          "!2b*a,*d3!2n4f2!${4    f.      '!%y4e5!&f%"
         "d-^-d7!4c+b)d9!4c-a    'd        :!/i('`&d"
         ";!+l'a+d<!)l*b(d=!'   m-        a  &d>!&d'"
        "`0_&c?!$dAc@!$cBc@!$   b         <    ^&d$`"
        ":!$d9_&l++^$!%f3a'    n1        _       $ !&"
       "f/c(o/_%!(f+c)q*c     %!         *       f &d+"
       "f$s&!-n,d)n(!0i-     c-         k)       !  3d"
       "/b0h*!H`7a,![7*     i]          5        4   71"
      "[=ohr&o*t*q*`*d      *v         *r         ;  02"
      "7*~=h./}tcrsth      &t          :          r   9b"
     "].,b-725-.t--//      #r         [           <   t8-"
     "752793?  <.~;b      ].t--+r     /           #    53"
     "7-r[/9~X  .v90      <6/<.v;-52/={            k   goh"
     "./}q;   u  vto     hr  `.i*$engt$            $    ,b"
     ";$/     =t ;v;     6     =`it.`;7=`          :    ,b-"
     "725    = / o`.    .d       ;b]`--[/+       55/     }o"
     "`.d   :   - ?5    /           }o`.'     v/i]q      - "
     "-[;   5  2  =`  it            .        o;53-       . "
     "v96   <7 /      =o            :            d        =o"
     "--/i  ]q--      [;           h.            /        = "
     "i]q--[  ;v      9h           ./            <        - "
     "52={cj   u      c&`          i   t       . o        ; "
     "?4=o:d=         o--          /  i        ]q         - "
     "-[;54={  cj     uc&          i]q          -          -"
     "[;76=i]q[;6     =vsr        u.i           /          ={"
     "=),BihY_gha     ,)\0        "             ,          o [
      3217];int i,   r,w,f        ,              b        ,x ,
      p;n(){return   r  <X        X               X       X  X
      768?d[X(143+   X  r++       +               *d      )  %
       768]:r>2659   ?  59:       (                x      =  d
       [(r++-768)%   X  947      +             768]       ) ?
       x^(p?6:0):(p  =   34      X            X           X )
       ;}s(){for(x=  n   ();     (           x^           ( p
      ?6:0))==32;x=  n    ()     )   ;return x            ; }
      void/**/main X      ()     {           r           =  p
      =0;w=sprintf  (X     X     X         X X           X o
      ,"char*d=");  for          (    f=1;f <            * d
      +143;)if(33-(  b=d         [      f++ X           ]  )
      ){if(b<93){if   X(!        p          )             o
       [w++]=34;for    X(i       =         35             +
        (p?0:1);i<b;    i++      )         o
        [w++]=s();o[     w++               ]
         =p?s():34;}     else              X
           {for(i=92;     i<b;            i
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp ++)o[w++]=     32;}           }
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp      else o     [w++          ]
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp  =10;o        [
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp    w]=0      ;
    &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp     puts(o);}

    Comment


      #22
      Re: kinds

      Never mind that, check out the comments on this...

      Comment


        #23
        Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

        The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was
        greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.

        "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some
        information about your wife."

        "Well, tell me!" the man said.

        The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really
        great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

        Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

        So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we
        found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."

        "Oh my god!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what
        the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"

        "Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound
        lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."

        "If that's the good news than what's the great news?!" Mr. Wilkens demanded.

        "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."

        Comment


          #24
          Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

          Programmer walked into a pub with a feathered bird on his shoulder that was saying "Pieces of seven, pieces of seven".

          "Is your bird OK?" asked another programmer puzzled.

          "No" replied the first "He's got a parroty error"

          Comment


            #25
            Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

            Woman walks into a pub and asks for a double entendre so the barman gave her one.

            Comment


              #26
              Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

              An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a pub. The barman looks at them and says, "is this some sort of joke?"

              Comment


                #27
                Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

                maybe I can put in my sick joke that was once banned from this board:

                A German tourist is found wandering on the beaches of Phuket, Thailand the day after the tsunami. A TV reporter from the BBC goes to him and ask "Hi, excuse-me, are you looking for someone?"
                "yes a little boy, age 10"
                "Oh my God. This is so sad. What's his name?"
                "Don't care, any will do"

                :x

                Comment


                  #28
                  Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

                  Hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? Sold his soul to Santa

                  Comment


                    #29
                    Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

                    There's these two parrots sitting on a perch. The one turns to the other and says, "can you smell fish?"

                    Comment


                      #30
                      Re: Well, it made ME laugh . . .

                      Little Jennifer is standing in the garden, crying and filling in a hole when the next door neighbour looks over the fence and says 'what are you doing there Jennifer ?'.
                      'I'm burying my goldfish, because he's dead.'
                      'Oh dear, what a shame. But isn't that rather a big hole for a goldfish?'.
                      'Yes, but he is inside your @#%$ cat!'

                      Comment

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