Maybe England weren't so bad...

[shaunbhoy]

English mate of mine was telling me that on his way home from the pub, following the England v Germany game, he bumped into a Fairy who told him he could have 1 wish.

My mate said "I want to live forever"

The Fairy said "Sorry, can't do that"

My mate said "Okay, I want to live until England win the World Cup again"

The Fairy said "Crafty Bastard!!"

[scooterscot]

English mate of mine was telling me that on his way home from the pub, following the England v Germany game, he bumped into a Fairy who told him he could have 1 wish.

My mate said "I want to live forever"

The Fairy said "Sorry, can't do that"

My mate said "Okay, I want to live until England win the World Cup again"

The Fairy said "Crafty Bastard!!"

[doodab]

The next game against Hungary will be shown on one of the the pay per view porn channels. Apparently the sight of 11 arseholes getting shafted isn't allowed on the BBC.

[TimberWolf]

Jokes I received by email:




Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.





Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Portuguese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second!





Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: O J Simpson had a more credible defence





Q: You are trapped in a room with a tiger, rattlesnake, and John Terry. You have a gun with only two bullets. What do you do.
A: Shoot John Terry twice to make sure.





Q: Did you know Curry's have seen loads of their Plasma and LCD televisions being returned this week
A: Apparently the England defeat looked worse in High Definition...





Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of
shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied: "No way. You got yourself into this mess. Don't ask me to sort it out!"





What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.





Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room - Robert Green was guarding the door.





What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney?
The jet engine eventually stops whining.





Oxo are making a new product. The packaging is white with a red cross and they're calling it the laughing stock.

[lightng]

Cage fighting? A sport?

FFS, it's grappling by any other name.

Of course it is. It was a sport long before anyone decided that a group of men kicking a cabbage from one end of the field to the other was a good idea. Long, long before.

[threaded]

Of course it is. It was a sport long before anyone decided that a group of men kicking a cabbage from one end of the field to the other was a good idea. Long, long before.

I've always seen it as some sort of homo-erotic porn and really not suitable viewing.

Then there was one I came across where it was two young ladies covered in baby oil. Now that was a significant improvement.

[threaded]

Olga and Melanie.

Only two wrestlers names I can remember.

Funny that.

[lightng]

I've always seen it as some sort of homo-erotic porn and really not suitable viewing.

>> Its only gay if you make eye contact. OK? <<

[shaunbhoy]

I've always seen it as some sort of homo-erotic porn and really not suitable viewing.

Then there was one I came across.

Er....better stop you there old boy............way too much information!!

[thunderlizard]

What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

That joke would have been a bit better if the England team had failed to reach the knockout stages of the World Cup.