Off the Bench

[AlfredJPruffock]

when I was in Scotland a few months ago, I visited the Glengoyne distillery and bought a couple of bottles for my stepdad, is that any good?

All Men are Bad
All Whisky is Good
Except for Alf (and your Dear Stepdad Rebs)
But thats understood ...

[cojak]

I'll have you know that I've dived around Mull, Scapa Flow and Skye (and even walked around the famed kettles - prices were a bit steep tho' ).

[AlfredJPruffock]

I'll have you know that I've dived around Mull, Scapa Flow and Skye (and even walked around the famed kettles - prices were a bit steep tho' ).

Then Bless you Rebs, thats my Bonnie Wee Lassie !

Ach its time for a sing song , one two three ...


O youll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road,
An' I'll be in Scotland afore ye;
But me and my true love will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks O' Loch Lomond

[cojak]

*quietly hides the rest of the booze and sticks the bag pipes behind the sofa...*

[Lucifer Box]

Ah yes, it brings a tear to my eye too, and reminds me of my last holiday in Scotland. I was staying in Gairloch and myself and Mrs Lucifer decided to go for a couple of pints in the local pub on our last evening. I can still hear the cheery goodbye one of the locals shouted out as we left: "why don't you just f uck off back home you English c unts".

A true story unfortunately.

[AlfredJPruffock]

I am sorry to learn of the behaviour of these cretins LB , certainly not Highlanders they were probably from Glasgow or perhaps Wales ?

[Lucifer Box]

Aye Alf. I think he was just bitter that he wasn't living in London, like most of the rest of the his countrymen.

[AlfredJPruffock]

Aye Alf. I think he was just bitter that he wasn't living in London, like most of the rest of the his countrymen.

Aye LB

Well as a firm Unionist and loyal to the Crown I abhor any such vile slander,these people should move elsewhere if they insist on being so disrespectful to fellow British citizens.

Speaking of exiles and Scotland,Billy Connoly once remarked that I like Scotland so much , I actually live there !

Unlike 007.

Speaking of which I shall be jetting of to Malaga on Hogmany and then heading to my beloved Cadiz, I fancy there it so wonderful that rather than leave I shall walk into the Atlantic Ocean never to return.

Which will cheer up a few on this board I know !

Forecast is 19 degrees and clear skys for New Years Day, so Viva Espana !!!

Anyway LB, I do hope this isolated incident will not deter you from future travels in the Highalnds, theres plenty of room there for everybody.

Come and See ,You are all welcome, Friends and Strangers alike.

[Lucifer Box]

No Alf, it wouldn't stop me from going back. As it happens I haven't been back since, but I would if opportunity arose.

I did go through a funny patch of telling all Scottish people I met in South London pubs to f uck off back to Scotland, but after a few bruisings I decided to call it quits.

[scotspine]

rebs - this a few miles from glengoyne this afternoon...

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