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Please be so utterly gracious as to accept my most sincere and felicitatious apologies, for it doth appear a snipe of the gutter variety hath purloined my access of the InterWeb and sent a missive of most injurious and hostile in nature.
I shall, forthwith, admonish said urchin with suitable and apropos vigour as can be mustered by myself whilst wielding an item of segmented arboreal construction material of dimensions four and a half of that. With, perchance, a half a foot of nail projecting throughwith.
Ere guv'nor. We'll have less of your fancy words if you know what is good for you.
Out here, in Her Majesty's distant Dominions, we may be enthralled that the leaps and bounds taken in technological science mean that communication with the mother country does not take three months like it used to in the twentieth century, but that does not mean that we have time to spare to contemplate the use of fancy language where it is not needed.
Out 'ere a man survives only through the application of hard work and an honest day's toil, while at the same time being mindful not to upset the natives who have been known to take offence at the most trivial slight such as kicking them off the land they claim is their own.
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