For Christmas I'd like........

[norrahe]

I think for xmas I'd like Mr Norr to get a gig

[AtW]

depends on your insurance policy

Surely flooding on such a grand scale is an Act of God, or in other words not covered by insurance?

[Diver]

...sex

But I'm married so it ain't going to happen.

And before some comedian replaces "married" with "fat and ugly"...yup, that's why playing away won't happen either

At least you're honest