Openness and Honesty in a Relationship

[EternalOptimist]

I have a hidden past, one that I'm not proud of, actually I'm quite ashamed of it. Question is, as I'm now in a serious relationship, should I volunteer that fact? It could mean the end of the relationship.

And no, I'm not going to tell you what it is.

Two things spring to mind

1.How chuffed will she be when it all comes out and you also have to admit you took advice from a bunch of people, half of whom are known to be clinically insane.

2.Not directed solely at you moose, but how would you react if you discovered that the love of your life used to work as a prostitute in order to get a few quid to pay for a holiday in Spain with her so-called mates.

[EternalOptimist]

Drugs
Prison
Bankrupt
Wife beating
Paedo
GBH
Southerner
National Front
Sex Change


taken from the first page of my CV

[SuperZ]

Probably. Unless you honestly don't believe it is relevant, you will be bugged by it for ages. And of course things tend to get found out.

As it is something they have posted on here to a forum, I think they could be bugged by it for a long while if they don`t come clean.

I would say come clean for your own sanity and peace of mind, and for your partner.If they love you and trust you any problem can be overcome.

It is difficult to give advice without having been in the exact same situation.

If you`re tempted to not tell them, answer some questions to yourself:
Are they likely to ever find out? Note for example if they applied for Security clearance they could fail it due to your history if that is on police records
Can you live with not telling them,ever? You may for example be old one day and end up telling them, possibly not intentionally(due to illness). That could be very bad.
Is your past likely to ever have an impact on your future life/relationships?

Just a few thoughts.
GOod luck

[cojak]

Probably. Unless you honestly don't believe it is relevant, you will be bugged by it for ages. And of course things tend to get found out.

WHS

Definitely.

[Spacecadet]

Drugs
Prison
Bankrupt
Wife beating
Paedo
GBH
Southerner
National Front
Sex Change


taken from the first page of my CV

You really have led a varied life EO

[OwlHoot]

I have a hidden past, one that I'm not proud of, actually I'm quite ashamed of it. Question is, as I'm now in a serious relationship, should I volunteer that fact? It could mean the end of the relationship.

And no, I'm not going to tell you what it is.

Let me guess - Your partner is a fanatical leftie, and you were at Eton, Oxford, and the Grenadier Guards?

Edit: Go on, give us a clue

[EternalOptimist]

You really have led a varied life EO

it aint over yet

alcoholic
horses
deserter
incest
beastiality
southerner
member of parliament
drink driving
rapist

[OrangeHopper]

You know how to bleed radiators?

[Sysman]

Drugs
Prison
Bankrupt
Wife beating
Paedo
GBH
Southerner
National Front
Sex Change


taken from the first page of my CV

it aint over yet

alcoholic
horses
deserter
incest
beastiality
southerner
member of parliament
drink driving
rapist

I note a common theme there.

I knew someone who got into deep cack when his wife to be saw his birth certificate and realised where he'd been born

[zamzummim]

Moose, is this to do with the old saga you shared with us here a couple of years ago, remember A, B and C --- you were married to A, but in love with B, told B you are in love with her over MSN, but she is already married , so she freaks out and gives you the cold shoulder, then C turned up or something like that, then you had to divorce A etc??? I can’t remember all the details, but if your past to do with the above saga, then can’t see its relevant to your present relationship, and can’t see it would harm it if you tell/not tell.