Dixons + facebook

[BoredBloke]

I was in Currys a bit ago and the bint trying to sell this old couple a laptop actually told them that if they didn't have this type of processor they would slow the internet down

[DiscoStu]

Give us an example. what was the worst?

I should probably start by explaining the KPI's we had to work to, and why so many customers would get pissed off and start screaming...

We were expected to keep to an average call duration of, IIRC, 9 minutes. This meant on an average 7.5 hour shift you were expected to get through roughly 50 calls.

Secondly, the "telephone fix" target was 90%. We were only meant to be booking engineer calls for one in ten calls.

Thirdly, we were targeted not to have any ineffective field visits (you'd sent the engineer out with the wrong part) or unneccesary field visits (you could have fixed it over the phone).


Obviously, we were all on crap money, and our pitiful monthly bonus would depend on the performance of our team against the above KPI's. Every morning before we logged onto the phones we would get the stats from the day before, and get pulled up if we were outside our KPI's.

This led to a culture of working to the KPI's and not really bothering to help customers.

If I'd had a particularly long call, to bring my stats back into line I would make sure I had a few short ones. I'd fob a customer off by leaving their drive defragging or running a completely unneccesary system recovery just to get them off the phone.

It was the same with engineer visits. If I knew I'd booked more than my quota in the morning, I'd use any excuse I could not to book a visit. Unless it was a terminal failure (in which case I'd have them change the fuse in the power cable or something equally unneccessary so they'd have to call back and speak to someone else) then I'd try my best to avoid booking them out. This could take any form from re-installing a driver (and, naturally, calling back once they'd finished) to running a full system restore. A lot of the time I'd know full well that it wouldn't fix the problem, but if I could get them doing something and off the phone then it meant that firstly I'd be able to reduce my average call duration and secondly I'd avoid booking an engineer.


Enough digression... The worst call I ever had was actually a series of calls. Each day we were put on a specific "line" e.g Compaq, HP, Packard Bell etc. This fateful day I was on Compaq. I think I must have been the only one as I kept getting this particular caller.

It started as a PC without any sound. This woman completely refused to go through any diagnostics, just wanted a "repair man" to come out. I was very polite and explained we needed to try and fix over the phone first before I sent someone out. At this point she began ranting about how she'd paid for a repair service, wasn't getting any sound from her PC and wanted a "repair man" (what did she think it was, a flippin washing machine?). Again I explained that we needed to try and fix it over the phone. She started getting seriously abusive, and after a warning I cut her off.

A couple of minutes later I got a bleep in my headset for the next call, and it was the same woman. Again, I was very polite, but she was having none of it and wanted a "f$cking repair man" otherwise she was going to have my job. After a further torrent of abuse I cut her off.

I went out for a cigarette, came back and to my utter delight, my first call back is no sound woman. I explain for a third time, unless she does some phone diagnostics first she's never going to get an engineer. She reluctantly agrees, but isn't happy. It's a desktop PC, so we check the speakers are powered on (cue further abuse "I'm not f###ing stupid, I have checked this") and that the speakers are correctly plugged into the sound card (they are). Then I want to move onto the PC and check the volume on there. Cue more abuse about how she's fed up with this and wants her repair man. This time she hangs up on me.

We get to the fourth and, thank god, final call. We speak yet again. I think she's getting a bit embarrassed about the fact that she's not getting anywhere with all the abuse. We have a little look for a speaker in the system tray. She's clearly incapable of locating a picture of a speaker. We try Control Panel, apparently there are no sound options in there either (by this stage I'm convinced she's just trying to wind me up). I finally manage to fox her by having her type in sndvol32 in the run box. By some miracle the volume control appears, and the b1tch finally concedes that the mute box is ticked. We untick it and try an MP3. I hear music and hope I never have to talk to her again

[BrilloPad]

I should probably start by explaining the KPI's we had to work to, and why so many customers would get pissed off and start screaming...

We were expected to keep to an average call duration of, IIRC, 9 minutes. This meant on an average 7.5 hour shift you were expected to get through roughly 50 calls.

Secondly, the "telephone fix" target was 90%. We were only meant to be booking engineer calls for one in ten calls.

Thirdly, we were targeted not to have any ineffective field visits (you'd sent the engineer out with the wrong part) or unneccesary field visits (you could have fixed it over the phone).


Obviously, we were all on crap money, and our pitiful monthly bonus would depend on the performance of our team against the above KPI's. Every morning before we logged onto the phones we would get the stats from the day before, and get pulled up if we were outside our KPI's.

This led to a culture of working to the KPI's and not really bothering to help customers.

If I'd had a particularly long call, to bring my stats back into line I would make sure I had a few short ones. I'd fob a customer off by leaving their drive defragging or running a completely unneccesary system recovery just to get them off the phone.

It was the same with engineer visits. If I knew I'd booked more than my quota in the morning, I'd use any excuse I could not to book a visit. Unless it was a terminal failure (in which case I'd have them change the fuse in the power cable or something equally unneccessary so they'd have to call back and speak to someone else) then I'd try my best to avoid booking them out. This could take any form from re-installing a driver (and, naturally, calling back once they'd finished) to running a full system restore. A lot of the time I'd know full well that it wouldn't fix the problem, but if I could get them doing something and off the phone then it meant that firstly I'd be able to reduce my average call duration and secondly I'd avoid booking an engineer.


Enough digression... The worst call I ever had was actually a series of calls. Each day we were put on a specific "line" e.g Compaq, HP, Packard Bell etc. This fateful day I was on Compaq. I think I must have been the only one as I kept getting this particular caller.

It started as a PC without any sound. This woman completely refused to go through any diagnostics, just wanted a "repair man" to come out. I was very polite and explained we needed to try and fix over the phone first before I sent someone out. At this point she began ranting about how she'd paid for a repair service, wasn't getting any sound from her PC and wanted a "repair man" (what did she think it was, a flippin washing machine?). Again I explained that we needed to try and fix it over the phone. She started getting seriously abusive, and after a warning I cut her off.

A couple of minutes later I got a bleep in my headset for the next call, and it was the same woman. Again, I was very polite, but she was having none of it and wanted a "f$cking repair man" otherwise she was going to have my job. After a further torrent of abuse I cut her off.

I went out for a cigarette, came back and to my utter delight, my first call back is no sound woman. I explain for a third time, unless she does some phone diagnostics first she's never going to get an engineer. She reluctantly agrees, but isn't happy. It's a desktop PC, so we check the speakers are powered on (cue further abuse "I'm not f###ing stupid, I have checked this") and that the speakers are correctly plugged into the sound card (they are). Then I want to move onto the PC and check the volume on there. Cue more abuse about how she's fed up with this and wants her repair man. This time she hangs up on me.

We get to the fourth and, thank god, final call. We speak yet again. I think she's getting a bit embarrassed about the fact that she's not getting anywhere with all the abuse. We have a little look for a speaker in the system tray. She's clearly incapable of locating a picture of a speaker. We try Control Panel, apparently there are no sound options in there either (by this stage I'm convinced she's just trying to wind me up). I finally manage to fox her by having her type in sndvol32 in the run box. By some miracle the volume control appears, and the b1tch finally concedes that the mute box is ticked. We untick it and try an MP3. I hear music and hope I never have to talk to her again

Great Story

You should take over the Friday Story spot from EO.....

[EternalOptimist]

Great Story

You should take over the Friday Story spot from EO.....

It's just another example of the corrupted bonus culture we have in this country.
Paying these thin cats a bonus for wrecking their customer satisfaction and for wrecking the company

[DiscoStu]

It's just another eample of the corrupted bonus culture we have in this country.
Paying these thin cats a bonus for wrecking their customer satisfaction and for wrecking the company

When you're taking home £1100 a month that £250 extra makes a lot of difference!

[EternalOptimist]

When you're taking home £1100 a month that £250 extra makes a lot of difference!

absolutely.
It takes a genius to create a good bonus scheme that drives the business properly

[mace]

I was in Currys a bit ago and the bint trying to sell this old couple a laptop actually told them that if they didn't have this type of processor they would slow the internet down

Always wondered why it was so slow. Thanks for the tip.

[The Lone Gunman]

Customers can be somewhat dim. Some are amazed at your prowess at technical support.
That does not excuse these dick heads. Sure tell the stories and have a laugh, but NOT on something bearing your employers name and NOT using your own ID. The employer would have every right to sack these idiots.
Shops like the ones in question are more and more vulnerable to internet sales. The last thing they need is staff making customers feel like they are being laughed at before they get through the door.

[gingerjedi]

Whats the problem? If you buy your electronic goods at Dixons you must be a bit dim.

Anyway... all my users seem to be thick as tulip.