I once blagged my way into a Java server-side contract with no Java at all except a 2 day foundation course. I lasted 18 months until the project finished. Where the welfare of my family is concerned I have no scruples as long as it's legal.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
So....CV honesty
Collapse
X
-
...my quagmire of greed....my cesspit of laziness and unfairness....all I am doing is sticking two fingers up at nurses, doctors and other hard working employed professionals...
-
I graduated in the early-2k tech slump. First couple of jobs were in call centres.
It was doing helpdesk support for French speaking countries. The staff were all low paid 15-20k young people.
The language skills were the most important thing so there were lots of French nationals living here or language students. Only a couple of people with IT degrees because it just wasn't necessary.
One of the exciting jobs we had to do was run a repair (literally just go to ARP and hit repair) on a MSI package with installed the tnsname.ora file when users couldn't access some Oracle dbs.
One of my colleagues, a gorgeous girl with a great rack, was looking for other jobs.
She confidently told me that she was applying for oracle jobs because the pay looked good and the experience she had from the above procedure. Unbelievably she didn't even know it was a database and genuinely thought she had some experience in it.
With delusion you don't need to lie.
Wonder what would have happened if she'd got to interview.Comment
-
Yeah. I wonder.Originally posted by DieScum View PostOne of my colleagues, a gorgeous girl with a great rack, was looking for other jobs.
Wonder what would have happened if she'd got to interview.
My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.Comment
-
Originally posted by TiroFijo View PostThe best way to list your levels of experience on the first page under a 'Proffesional Summary' is by using the following:
I do hope it's spelled correctly on your CV
Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- The 3 highest-paying software contractor jobs right now, and what they actually pay Jun 25 03:52
- The beginning of the end for Boox ‘MSC’ contractors has begun. Check back in 2031 Jun 24 06:25
- Andy Burnham as prime minister ‘would cut both ways for self-employed contractors’ Jun 23 02:18
- The 3 highest-paying software contractor jobs right now, and what they actually pay Jun 22 15:52
- Taxman tells contractors that only four new tax avoidance schemes needed avoiding in Q2 Jun 22 05:47
- VAT compliance checks are changing — here’s what contractors need to know Jun 17 07:30
- As HMRC steps up VAT compliance activity, how should company directors prepare? Jun 16 06:52
- Hiring of IT contractors returned to growth in May 2026, following 33 months ‘in the red’ Jun 15 06:02
- Zero Hours Contract Reform: A key consultation for recruiters, employers and contractors is finally here Jun 12 04:43
- Bills of Exchange: Here’s what caught my attention as an umbrella compliance expert Jun 11 03:46

Comment