What erks me ....

[DaveB]

I was watching the tennis earlier and Sue Barker promised if I pressed the red button I would see "Laura Robson in action".

Could you imagine my upset when I followed her instructions and discovered, to my great upset, that she was only playing tennis.

Given that she's only 14 thats probably just as well, Perv.

[MrToast]

I have yet to watch an entire film with my wife (of 20 years).

The cinema just makes her go to sleep - reliable as clockwork.

Then she says things like 'I really love that film' when I know full well she has only ever seen the opening 15 minutes and the closing credits.

It was probably your company that makes her go to sleep.