Accident stories...

[EternalOptimist]

dead I presume?

er
he ran out of oxy-gum after the first day

[BrilloPad]

I suspect my son will be on here later regaling you all with his tale of embedding a rock into a child's head and him being hospitalized....

[MaryPoppins]

I was house sitting for a colleague many years ago, when I lived in Bristol. Discovered a VW fob key late one night while cleaning the kitchen, and wondered idly whether it might belong to the nice shiny Golf VR6 in the street outside. Be rude not to check, I think, and lo - it does!

Standing next to the open car in my jim jam bottoms and a hoody, it felt equally rude not to take it for a quick spin. Ok, yes, technically without permission, but never mind. I end up driving into the centre of Bristol and decided to stop outside the hippodrome to get some fags (in the glorious days I smoked).

I parked in the bus stop outside the newsagents, lock the car and saunter into the shop. Standing in the queue (still in jim jams, classy lady that I am) I suddenly experience a pure bolt of unexplained fear. I abandon the idea of fags and decide to just get the (technically stolen) car back ASAP.

Approaching the car, I press the fob button, only to realise that the back of the entire fob has, well - disappeared. Panic sets in for real as I survey the situation. With no way of opening the car without possibly setting off the alarm and no idea of how to disable that, I was a bit fooked it seemed.

Luckily, a lovely man who was waiting for the night bus took pity on me, and helped look for the back of the fob. Hurrah! He found it! Giddy with joy, I click the fob halves together, gingerly press the button and YESSS, the car opened.

I walk round to the drivers side, and wave my eternal thanks to the lovely chap, who has joined the other people back at the bus stop in watching this charade play out. I open the car door - straight into my face. My mouth, to be precise.

Furious with embarrasment, my initial thought is to GET AWAY from the people now staring open mouthed at me, so I sit down heavily in the drivers seat close the offending door.

As I can sense people actually now bending down to get a better view of me (laughing, obviously) I breath out "fc.uk..." in pain, and blood sprays out of my mouth in an alarming manner, covering the dash and passenger seat. I slam the car into first gear and roar off in horror.

I called the guy I lived with at the time (only in a house share capacity) and tried to tell him I was coming home briefly as I required assistance in locating part of my tooth in the (stolen) vehicle I was driving.

However my impaired speech, coupled with my panic, and the late hour, made him think I was hammered drunk and in some kind of huge trouble. Poor guy looked most baffled when I pulled up in my jim jams, with blood running down my chin.

[sasguru]

I was house sitting for a colleague many years ago, when I lived in Bristol. Discovered a VW fob key late one night while cleaning the kitchen, and wondered idly whether it might belong to the nice shiny Golf VR6 in the street outside. Be rude not to check, I think, and lo - it does!

Standing next to the open car in my jim jam bottoms and a hoody, it felt equally rude not to take it for a quick spin. Ok, yes, technically without permission, but never mind. I end up driving into the centre of Bristol and decided to stop outside the hippodrome to get some fags (in the glorious days I smoked).

I parked in the bus stop outside the newsagents, lock the car and saunter into the shop. Standing in the queue (still in jim jams, classy lady that I am) I suddenly experience a pure bolt of unexplained fear. I abandon the idea of fags and decide to just get the (technically stolen) car back ASAP.

Approaching the car, I press the fob button, only to realise that the back of the entire fob has, well - disappeared. Panic sets in for real as I survey the situation. With no way of opening the car without possibly setting off the alarm and no idea of how to disable that, I was a bit fooked it seemed.

Luckily, a lovely man who was waiting for the night bus took pity on me, and helped look for the back of thefob. Hurrah! He found it! Giddy with joy, I click the fob halves together, gingerly press the button and YESSS, the car opened.

I walk round to the drivers side, and wave my eternal thanks to the lovely chap, who has joined the other people back at the bus stop in watching this charade play out. I open the car door - straight into my face. My mouth, to be precise.

Furious with embarrasment, my initial thought is to GET AWAY from the people now staring open mouthed at me, so I sit down heavily in the drivers seat close the offending door.

As I can sense people actually now bending down to get a better view of me (laughing, obviously) I breath out "fc.uk..." in pain, and blood sprays out of my mouth in an alarming manner, covering the dash and passenger seat. I slam the car into first gear and roar off in horror.

I called the guy I lived with at the time (only in a house share capacity) and tried to tell him I was coming home briefly as I required assistance in locating part of my tooth in the (stolen) vehicle I was driving.

However my impaired speech, coupled with my panic, and the late hour, made him think I was hammered drunk and in some kind of huge trouble. Poor guy looked most baffled when I pulled up in my jim jams, and blood running down my chin.

Post of the day

[MaryPoppins]

Post of the day

Yay! Its one of my fave stories that one.

Closely followed by the time I couldn't get my car out of an awkward space so decided to try driving up and over what turned out to be a very, very steep grass bank to get to the next section of car park. Bad decision.

Got car to the top (not sure how, took some real determination and damage to the chassis) then panicked slightly at the top, when I realised the car was balancing on three tyres and the decline was in fact very, very steep.

Eventually, some builders ended up running across to help me. One was unable to assist too much as he was bent double laughing and telling me over and over how he's never seen anything like it, and how I'd made his year.

[BrianSnail]

Note to self - never lend the car to Mary.

[NickNick]

I can add the following
Coming off a motorbike in the jungles of Sri Lanka and doing some fairly serious damage to myself, but SWMBO who was on the back didn't have a scratch on her.
Climbing in the Peruvian Andes and the ladder broke sending me down the cliff face a few feet (in some areas, the locals have kindly tied wooden ladders to the cliffs for easier passage)
Same climb, SWMBO fell and started (I thought) heading over the edge, so I dived for her, only for her to stop and me to head over that edge.
Oh and the most painful. I stopped off a bed after changing a lightbulb and stopped on an upturned plug.

[snaw]

Yay! Its one of my fave stories that one.

Closely followed by the time I couldn't get my car out of an awkward space so decided to try driving up and over what turned out to be a very, very steep grass bank to get to the next section of car park. Bad decision.

Got car to the top (not sure how, took some real determination and damage to the chassis) then panicked slightly at the top, when I realised the car was balancing on three tyres and the decline was in fact very, very steep.

Eventually, some builders ended up running across to help me. One was unable to assist too much as he was bent double laughing and telling me over and over how he's never seen anything like it, and how I'd made his year.

You still allowed out on your own?

[MaryPoppins]

You still allowed out on your own?

Barely. I have done some shockingly stupid things in my time

[Pogle]

Barely. I have done some shockingly stupid things in my time

I like you