Bowel cancer for under 30s doubles.....

[thelace]

Though I almost fainted when the doctor stuck the cannula thingie in the vein on the back of my hand... I was looking when he pulled the bit out of the middle of it...

I then spent 10 mins playing with the machine that goes beep... controlling my hearts rate and breathing rate to see if I could pretend to be dead...

(I couldn't but got my hearts rate down to about 55).

Great minds think alike

Got down to under 40 and the nurse was about to panic when I sat up and asked for a cup of tea

[Cyberman]

Not what Cancer Research UK says, however..

Alcohol has previously been reported as responsible for cancer of the throat and mouth where immediate contact causes chemical reactions with cells in those areas, but this is bowel cancer, which is an area that does not get that immediate contact.

[sasguru]

Alcohol has previously been reported as responsible for cancer of the throat and mouth where immediate contact causes chemical reactions with cells in those areas, but this is bowel cancer, which is an area that does not get that immediate contact.

So you're worrying about cancer rather than the permanent vegetative state you're in?

[gingerjedi]

The dreaded Picolax

That stuff will clean you out in no time

Seriously, if anyone is facing the camera up the bum in the future, and the Dr./Nurse says Do you want a local anaesthetic, you don't need one you know, and if you don't have one, you can leave much earlier as we don't have to wait for it to wear off.... etc, etc, etc....

Call them the spawn of the devil and demand an anaesthetic!!!! As much as you can legally have!

Took me two hours to stagger down the corridor on the way out, walking like John Wayne, farting like thunder (they blow up your tubes like a balloon) with a tear coming out of each eye!

I've had it 3 times, the picolax is far worse than the actual procedure.

Have you had a Barium meal? It's a bugger to get rid of once it passes through, too dense for a normal flush.

[thelace]

I've had it 3 times, the picolax is far worse than the actual procedure.

Have you had a Barium meal? It's a bugger to get rid of once it passes through, too dense for a normal flush.

Aye, one to poke round the U bend for sure!

Think the worse one though was the camera up the willie....

There they pump you full of water, when they remove your tube, it goes off like a fountain spraying all in the immediate vicinity.

There's no chance of holding any dignity...

[gingerjedi]

Aye, one to poke round the U bend for sure!

Think the worse one though was the camera up the willie....

There they pump you full of water, when they remove your tube, it goes off like a fountain spraying all in the immediate vicinity.

There's no chance of holding any dignity...

Some people pay good money for that sort of thing.

[Cyberman]

So you're worrying about cancer rather than the permanent vegetative state you're in?

I'm not personally worried about this because I do not eat much red meat, do not eat takeaways, drink little alcohol etc etc, but I do worry for our young who we need to pay our taxes of the future while I draw my pension.