Meet the new Apprentice contestants

[Drewster]

I would

She says: "My CV speaks for itself. I've always excelled academically and I have really achieved within a corporate environment across sales, marketing and a number of different aspects of business."

Well I see what you mean - but I would have to shut her up d*mn quick!

[DimPrawn]

I would

Christ on a bike!

She looks like she'd do anything to get that job!

[Board Game Geek]

Now imagine....the sweet dulcet tones of Janet Street Porter

[Mich the Tester]

Mother-of-two, Lorraine was born in London and left school at 16. Since then she has gone on to be the top sales person in every company she has ever worked for. Talkative Lorraine admits to having very little education and has endured many trials and tribulations throughout her life. She sums up her attitude to business as the ability to drive a dead horse to the winning line.
She says: "I've fought against all the odds. I'm a single mum with no education and I've had a very hard time.”

Yes Lorraine, so while you could have gone to nightschool or signed up for an Open University course, you’ve chosen to line up with 14 other people to suck up to a short fat Dave Lee Travis lookalike with pubes on his face.

[Rookie]

Now imagine....the sweet dulcet tones of Janet Street Porter

It looks like a photofit. Or where 3 photo's have been merged into one.

[minestrone]

Now imagine....the sweet dulcet tones of Janet Street Porter

Gordon Ramsey's chin.

[Board Game Geek]

It looks like a photofit. Or where 3 photo's have been merged into one.

Adobe Photoshop is a hard Master, and an even crueller Mistress.

[PM-Junkie]

There are some great quotes though....

"Without companies buying and selling there wouldn't be any economy."...brilliant. Must have taken him years of studying to work that one out then.

"Business is the new rock 'n' roll and I'm Elvis Presley" ...so a fat druggie who's in the pocket of doctors and the pharmaceutical companies then?

As someone else said - another bunch of egotistical idiots. I can't figure out why they are not on the board of a bank somewhere.

[Mich the Tester]

As someone else said - another bunch of egotistical idiots. I can't figure out why they are not on the board of a bank somewhere.

yet

[Board Game Geek]

It's slow-motion car crash T.V., where the audience get to jeer at the gladiators, just like they did 2,000 years ago.

Nothing has changed much, apart from the epoch.