IT Contractor Top Trumps

[BrianSnail]

Technical Skills: 4
Management Skills: 9
IR35 Compliance: 7
Boom Level: 7
War Chest: 3
Size of noddy: 7 3/4
Goth Stuff: 7
AndyW Rating: 3
Car Count: 0
Glove compartments: 2
Manky sausage rolls: 2

[lightng]

Of course !

Is there any other type ?

****

I opened the glove compartment with a sense of trepidation and yet hungry eagerness.

The thought of the delicate, buttery pastry melting within my lips solicited an auto-response from my saliva glands, and I threw open the lock with devilish abandon.

Either I froze, or time stood still.

We regarded each other, locked in our own time bubble, where nothing outside the barrier mattered any more.

Time, o' cruel Mistress that she is, had not been kind to my patisseried friend.

The white paper bag which had once enshrouded the tasty treat inside like a wedding gown upon a young virgin, had become despoiled with the stain of grease, having oozed from the mass within to permeate the bag.

And then there was the smell.

DEAR GOD, the SMELL !

It was like a rancid nest of rats, force-fed laxatives and goaded to live in a shoe box.

I nervously opened the bag and peered inside.

And I now know the meaning of Horror.

True, raw, unabashed horror, of the kind that strips reason and sanity to the marrow and leaves behind a gibbering mess of flesh.

Never in my wildest imaginings could I envisage that such a cruel and twisted thing be damned with life, for that is exactly what is was.

Life that made a mockery of the living, that perveted the breath of the dying, and infused the vile abomination with something in between.

It is my sincere belief that no man upon the firmament of earth should be compelled to bear witness to such abhorrence that would unhinge even the stoutest of minds.

I left the despicable horror where it lay, and returned to another version of sanity here.

Very good BGG! That MA in creative writing is really paying off. Writing isn't my thing but I do like to express myself via the gift of contemporary dance. Expect a youtube link by way of reply.

[Mr Crosby]

Technical Skills: 7
Management Skills: 0
IR35 Compliance: 0
War Chest: 0
Size of noddy: 8
Goth Stuff: 9
Intoxication Tolerance: 9

[Bagpuss]

That's the last time he went to Greggs

[Svalbaard]

Doom level...

0 = I've got 5 contracts going at once. Cant take any more work as there are only 168 hours in the week.
10 = I'm on the bench and am unlikely to get another gig ever. There is another world war coming up soon anyway so none of it makes any difference.

I guess in this case 10 isnt good

Ahhh makes sense now...

Doom Level 5

[Board Game Geek]

Very good BGG! That MA in creative writing is really paying off. Writing isn't my thing but I do like to express myself via the gift of contemporary dance. Expect a youtube link by way of reply.

Cheers, I'm interested in Dance as well (as a spectator, since my MS makes me a bit too dangerous on the dancefloor...imagine a cripple breakdancing whilst doing kung fu..that's me..)

Several of my friends are in to dancing, mostly Tribal Bellydancing, and they do a lot of Gothla

[Drewster]

...imagine a cripple breakdancing whilst doing kung fu..that's me...

[Bagpuss]

I thought Goths did the Camden 2 step or that planted to the ground dance swinging their hair?

[Svalbaard]

Sorry for being a bit "Cyber" but can I just confirm : 0 is bad, 10 is good... except on the Doom rating, where 0 is good (i.e. have job) and 10 is bad (i.e. enjoying the holidays).

Right?

[lightng]

Sorry for being a bit "Cyber" but can I just confirm : 0 is bad, 10 is good... except on the Doom rating, where 0 is good (i.e. have job) and 10 is bad (i.e. enjoying the holidays).

Right?

I think you understand my warped logic perfectly