Our government - repair or replace?

[BoredBloke]

Why not get a German one they are more reliable.

Personally I'd burn it

[sunnysan]

Repair or Replace

I think we should start Celebrity PM and we can put 10 celebrities in Whitehall and every week one gets voted off (on a 50p per text 0900 line)

The winner gets to be PM and the money generated from the phone in gets put towards UKs debt.

Hosted by Ant and Dec and Fearne Cotton, it will be a winner

[Mich the Tester]

If you do choose a Cameron, you’ll need to examine the cabinet regularly to prevent the inevitable build up of slime; it’ll give you many years of good service, but eventually it’ll need an overhaul; the last Major overhaul just made things worse because they forgot to replace the nuts on the far right. You’ll need to do a rebalancing to the centre from time to time to prevent the basket from spinning out of control and breaking off its one nation mountings. Don’t try introducing foreign coins as they can cause the bottom to fall out, as we discovered to our cost last time round.

Stick to these simple guidelines and you should be OK. Otherwise, perhaps just outsource the whole thing to Germany; I've heard Merkel and co. are quite good. Might be a sensitive issue though.

[ratewhore]

If you do choose a Cameron, you’ll need to examine the cabinet regularly to prevent the inevitable build up of slime; it’ll give you many years of good service, but eventually it’ll need an overhaul; the last Major overhaul just made things worse because they forgot to replace the nuts on the far right. You’ll need to do a rebalancing to the centre from time to time to prevent the basket from spinning out of control and breaking off its one nation mountings. Don’t try introducing foreign coins as they can cause the bottom to fall out, as we discovered to our cost last time round.

Ah, I can see what you did there...

[suityou01]

Ah, I can see what you did there...

The Campbell (Alaistair) spin cycle is smooth enough to balance a pound coin on its side without it falling over. I was very impressed.

[OwlHoot]

Apologies in advance for the incredibly mundane nature of this thread - I appreciate that it's verging on Wilmslowesque.

Our 11.5 year old government (Labour) gave up half way through an economic cycle with a load of warning lights and statistics and a small puddle of urine underneath. Warning lights disappeared after injecting £1.5 trn of taxpayers money, but I'm reluctant to try voting it in again in case the puddle becomes something a little more severe.

Am tempted to sell it for a tenner on Ebay as faulty and buy a brand new one, but there's the obvious alternative of getting it repaired. Would appreciate any words of wisdom on which route to take and any things I need to bear in mind if I go down the repair route. I'm hopeless at anything financial by the way so diagnosing and repairing the fault myself is out of the question!

Guffaw!

Post that on Guido's blog, http://www.order-order.com, in any recent thread that looks vaguely relevant. They'll love it!

[Doggy Styles]

Our 11.5 year old government (Labour) gave up half way through an economic cycle with a load of warning lights and statistics and a small puddle of urine underneath. Warning lights disappeared after injecting £1.5 trn of taxpayers money, but I'm reluctant to try voting it in again in case the puddle becomes something a little more severe.

Am tempted to sell it for a tenner on Ebay as faulty and buy a brand new one, but there's the obvious alternative of getting it repaired. Would appreciate any words of wisdom on which route to take and any things I need to bear in mind if I go down the repair route. I'm hopeless at anything financial by the way so diagnosing and repairing the fault myself is out of the question!

You've got one of those New Labours, haven't you. The old ones used to fall apart after four or five years.

Filling up regularly at the money pumps has kept your Labour going for 11.5 years but, correct me if I'm wrong, do you now find it stinks of bullshit and only goes backwards?

That's a common fault with those, and I'm afraid the best thing would be to write it off and get a another model.

Avoid the Libdem. It's pricy, and it only comes in left-hand drive.

Consider the Tory. It doesn't give such a smooth ride, and you can't get as many passengers on board, but being lighter you get more miles per gallon.

I'd personally recommend the Monster RL. Lots of fun and who cares what it costs.

[BoredBloke]

Avoid the BNP model though. While they seemed to have cleaned up their act recently, don't be fooled, if you delve inside you'll find that they are just the same. That is, while only passable for all white washes they still have a tendency to destroy anything mixed or coloured.