Piss Take Role Of the Day

[Sockpuppet]

Dear Sockpuppet,

Immediate Requirement:

Data Analyst:
Key Skills -
Data Analysis & Extraction
Report Writing
Data Processing
Data Manipulation

You will be working within the Risk department - establishing faults and solving them. You are required to have experience with Microsoft Access & Excel.

Excellent Contract Length - 6 months
Start: ASAP
Location: Gloucester
Rate: £100 per day

This is an excellent opportunity as you will be Security Cleared for this role. Please apply with an updated CV or contact me for more information.

Regards

Some Progresive Numpty

Progressive UK ICT
Email [email protected]

I'm already SC and the rate is a multiple of times below what I'd consider and I don't work in defence and I'm not a data analyst.

Fooking keyword searches.

[JoJoGabor]

I once got emailed about a contract as a welder! I assume cos I did mechanical engineering at uni years ago

[thunderlizard]

establishing faults

I reckon I could do that bit well enough.

[expat]

I once got emailed about a contract as a welder! I assume cos I did mechanical engineering at uni years ago

I'd like to know how to put any mention of any acquaintance with SQL in your CV, without getting calls for an SQL DBA (i.e. a Microsoft "SQL Server" DBA).

I even say in bold in my CV, "I am not a DBA". Maybe that's the problem: keyword hit. Maybe if I put in "I don't want any ****ing stupid contracts" then I'd get paid for ****ing?

[chris79]

I saw a job 2 days ago on Jobserve for £50 a day doing project support. Do they seriously expect to get anyone capable for that kind of reward??

[Board Game Geek]

£50 a day doing project support. Do they seriously expect to get anyone capable for that kind of reward??

Well, the option for some is either £50/day or £60 /week Job Seeker's Allowance.

I am also informed that in some places like India, there is no such thing as "Job Seekers Allowance".

You do the math.

The Boom's over. Has been for years.

The next Boom will be either be WW3 or Nano-Bio Tech.

So start shaping up whilst getting the old chemistry books out.

[BoredBloke]

I saw a job 2 days ago on Jobserve for £50 a day doing project support. Do they seriously expect to get anyone capable for that kind of reward??

I used to get loads of calls for roles at Astra Zeneca for things that I used to do at GSK but at 2/3rds of the rate. For some reason AZ seem to thing that I was a contractor should take a hit on my rate simply so that I could work for them. It's like saying 'yes I'd gladly pay £100 per days to have the pleasure of working at AZ'