They've just locked the stationary cupboard

[gingerjedi]

I remember when I was made redundant from Westland Helicopters, I had 3 months to stock up from the stores hatch.

Drills from 1.2mm up to 12mm in .1 mm increments, Snap-on grease gun, various batteries, boxes of plastic gloves, face masks, grinding pads, industrial glue, digital callipers, paint shop suits, goggles, taps & dies, reamers, the list goes on, I have a 5 foot high Snap-on tool chest filled with stuff in my garage.

[Sysman]

One pretty reliable indicator of imminent doom is HR numbers increasing. If HR is located in a different building or city, keep an eye on organisation charts and phonebooks to monitor their numbers

[moorfield]

It's a sign.

Leave some chocolate cakes out on your desk. If the secretaries / PAs come running first then you'll know it for sure.

[techno]

One pretty reliable indicator of imminent doom is HR numbers increasing. If HR is located in a different building or city, keep an eye on organisation charts and phonebooks to monitor their numbers

on the bulliten board here at clientco they have put up a notice for 2 new positions in the HR department (there are only 3 there at the mo)

doomed!!!!!!!!!!

[DimPrawn]

Next step after locking the stationary cupboard is not replacing dead strip lights and blocking outgoing calls from your desk.

[suityou01]

Yep, around here you’re allowed one paper serviette in the canteen, and must provide a reason for having two. I expect the soft bog roll will shortly be replaced with that nasty tracing paper that just spreads everything around instead of absorbing one’s shytte.

Always a laugh to see large companies attempting to save money. The radical idea of scrapping a few layers of management would never take off, but denying people a bic biro or a paper serviette; that’s the way to go.

Tracing paper toilet paper now replaced with old newspaper on string. Up side is its more absorbent and you can wipe yer a*se on articles about the credit crunch.

[gingerjedi]

We all must have had the awkward situation where the permy boss can no longer look you in the eye and the other permies stop talking when you enter the room.

[thelace]

At my last co. the directors went away on a 2 day strategy conference at a swish hotel and spa to devise a strategy to reduce costs

If that wasn't bad enough in itself, the strategy they came back with was to;

a) reduce overtime (we weren't working overtime - d'oh we weren't selling anything, why would there need to be overtime).

b) restrict the use of cleaning rags

We worked out that if we didn't use any cleaning rags at all, it would take until 2050 to save their bill for the hotel

Managers.... Feckless tulipters more like

[expat]

We all must have had the awkward situation where the permy boss can no longer look you in the eye and the other permies stop talking when you enter the room.

Oh please. You want to be out of that.

[minestrone]

Spent the whole of last week emptying the stationary cupboard, have enough bulldog clips and staples for one hell of a S&M party.