Tony 'opportunist' Blair has announced his return to parliament with the intention of becoming the first ever British black Prime Minster for real. When questioned by a sceptical media as to why he does not look particularly black, grinned: "I am the New Black. The first 3 letters of my name is always been black. The whole Labour party is New Black, please vote for us init", before proceeding to play gangster rap on his guitar. "I have always been bla, k, k, k" he strummed and jived. A Conservative party spokesman said the Tories were in the process of electing a new black shadow Prime Minster bro, adding "Yo mama Blair has no rhythm". Meanwhile the Liberal democrats announced that both main parties were unreal and that they had always been half-cast and were already juiced to elect a new shadow cabinet bitch. On hearing of Blair's return, a bemused Barrack Obama is reported to have said: "I do not understand a word of what any of these gentlemen are saying".
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