He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Was the Crucifixion a terrible mistake ?
Collapse
X
-
-
I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!Originally posted by voronHe has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
You know you'll need us!Comment
-
-
-
And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts
. Yeeah...
LGJC - In "Something for WS" mode!Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
You know you'll need us!Comment
-
"Romanis eut Domus
....People called Romans they go the House
What's that boy?"
"No, it says Romans go home"
"No it doesn't"I don't know my arse from an hole in the groundComment
-
Originally posted by Clownio"Romanis eut Domus
....People called Romans they go the House
What's that boy?"
"No, it says Romans go home"
"No it doesn't"
CENTURION: Now, write it out a hundred times.
BRIAN: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
CENTURION: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
You know you'll need us!Comment
-
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by or leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.Comment
-
BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?Originally posted by voronEx-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by or leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.
EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh--
MANDY: Brian! Come and clean your room out.
BRIAN: There you are.
EX-LEPER: Thank you, sir. Thanks-- Half a denary for me bloody life story?
BRIAN: There's no pleasing some people.
EX-LEPER: That's just what Jesus said, sir.Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
You know you'll need us!Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Outside IR35 isn’t making a comeback in 2026/27 — it’s something more complex Today 04:55
- Why contractors keep putting off their pension (and why I'm one of them) Yesterday 02:43
- HMRC loan charge settlement offer: 3 things to check before you sign Aug 3 07:41
- HMRC standstill agreements extended to 72 months: why the term's doubled, and what to check before signing Jul 31 05:53
- Who owns the loans? Inside the mystery of the loan charge recall scandal Jul 30 06:20
- Umbrella company winding-up petitions in 2026: the practical guide for contractors Jul 29 05:29
- Payments on Account deadline: what contractors must do before July 31st — maybe for the final few times Jul 28 08:01
- Andy Burnham's first 100 days: five things contractors need from the new PM Jul 27 00:53
- Starmer vs Burnham on housing: What their rival plans mean for your contractor mortgage Jul 22 00:59
- Burnham's housing vision vs. Starmer's home-buying reforms: what it means for your contractor mortgage Jul 22 00:59

Comment