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Was the Crucifixion a terrible mistake ?

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    #21
    He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.

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      #22
      Originally posted by voron
      He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.
      I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!
      Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
      You know you'll need us!

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        #23
        He's not the messiah - he's a very naughty boy

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          #24
          "You're fecking nicked, mate!"

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            #25
            And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts . Yeeah...

            LGJC - In "Something for WS" mode!
            Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
            You know you'll need us!

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              #26
              "Romanis eut Domus

              ....People called Romans they go the House

              What's that boy?"

              "No, it says Romans go home"

              "No it doesn't"
              I don't know my arse from an hole in the ground

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                #27
                Originally posted by Clownio
                "Romanis eut Domus

                ....People called Romans they go the House

                What's that boy?"

                "No, it says Romans go home"

                "No it doesn't"

                CENTURION: Now, write it out a hundred times.



                BRIAN: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.



                CENTURION: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
                Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
                You know you'll need us!

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                  #28
                  Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

                  Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

                  Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

                  Brian: Well, what happened?

                  Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

                  Brian: Cured?

                  Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

                  Brian: Who cured you?

                  Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by or leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

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                    #29
                    Originally posted by voron
                    Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

                    Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

                    Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

                    Brian: Well, what happened?

                    Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

                    Brian: Cured?

                    Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

                    Brian: Who cured you?

                    Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by or leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.
                    BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?

                    EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh--

                    MANDY: Brian! Come and clean your room out.

                    BRIAN: There you are.

                    EX-LEPER: Thank you, sir. Thanks-- Half a denary for me bloody life story?

                    BRIAN: There's no pleasing some people.

                    EX-LEPER: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
                    Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
                    You know you'll need us!

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