Originally posted by cailin maith
View Post
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
What are you doing this weekend?
Collapse
X
-
-
John learns how to be a journalist.
Originally posted by oracleslave View PostDon't diss a date up the oxo tower.
John is not a Journalist. John reads the news. Journalists make it up.
John is on a conversion course.
Do you know what a conversion course is?
A conversion course is something you do when you want to be taken seriously.
John is not taken seriously. People point and laugh. Poor John.
For his homework, John has to have dinner and some wine in a restaurant, and then write all about it.
If he writes a nice story, he will get six gold stars. Lucky John.
John's friend Alan knows all about food and wine. Paint Alan's nose red.
Alan suggests a nice restaurant near Waterloo bridge.
John looks worried.
'What's the matter John?', says Alan.
John says 'I have to take someone with me, but I don't know who to ask'. See John blub.
'There there', says Alan. 'I will ask Amanda on reception, I've heard that she will do anything for a nice meal'. Kind Alan.
John and Amanda go to the restaurant. Do you think Oxo is a funny name for a restaurant?
John is very excited. John likes his food. Amanda is a bit nervous as the restaurant is on the 8th floor and she is afraid of heights.
While they wait to be served John gets Amanda some wine and she soon feels better.
Soon the waiter arrives with the food. John gobbles down his dinner. See Amanda picking bits of food out of her hair.
Soon it is time to go. Amanda does not have enough money to pay for both meals so John makes up the difference. Do you know what a hairy old skinflint is? Amanda does.
When John gets home, Janet asks what he did at work today.
'Today I was behaving like a journalist'. I took our receptionist out for a treat.
Alan said he wanted Amanda Ryder on the desk in reception because she would do anyone a favour. We went to a very nice place to eat. But Amanda needed a few drinks because she'd never been taken up the Oxo Tower before and was a bit nervous. Afterwards she said that she enjoyed it and would suggest it to her boyfriend.
Can you hit a moving target with a four-slice toaster? Janet can. See Janet chase John.
Poor John.Comment
-
going to friends tomorrow day/night
getting wrecked and then having to drive back the next day with the kids moaning about what DVD to watch in the carComment
-
disposing of the xmas tree currently sat rotting away on the back lawn
washing some cars
and hopefully little elseComment
-
Wifes away for the weekend visiting relatives, so I'll be doing my best to entertain our 6 month old...If at first you don't succeed... skydiving is not for you!Comment
-
Usual nonsenseI'm sorry, but I'll make no apologies for this
Pogle is awarded +5 Xeno Geek Points.
CUK University Challenge Champions 2010
CUK University Challenge Champions 2012Comment
-
Originally posted by TheFaQQer View PostShame - I feel for you, mate.
No, really - I do.
In the end, NZ batted their 50 overs and got a reasonable but not invincible total of 275. The WIndies then batted for 8 overs before the rain arrived and play stopped. After about an hour and a half play resumed for a reduced 40 overs but the rain started again after a couple of those and the match was abandoned.
So overall, not the best use of the day, although it was good to see Martin Guptill bat right the way through the innings for 122 not out on his debut. (Or "Dayboo" as they insist on calling it here ).
Tomorrow looks like it is going to be even better. I am being taken to the 10th Annual Elvis in the Park day down in Henderson.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Secondary NI threshold sinking to £5,000: a limited company director’s explainer Dec 24 09:51
- Reeves sets Spring Statement 2025 for March 26th Dec 23 09:18
- Spot the hidden contractor Dec 20 10:43
- Accounting for Contractors Dec 19 15:30
- Chartered Accountants with MarchMutual Dec 19 15:05
- Chartered Accountants with March Mutual Dec 19 15:05
- Chartered Accountants Dec 19 15:05
- Unfairly barred from contracting? Petrofac just paid the price Dec 19 09:43
- An IR35 case law look back: contractor must-knows for 2025-26 Dec 18 09:30
- A contractor’s Autumn Budget financial review Dec 17 10:59
Comment