Give the ex nothing or something ?

[Lockhouse]

if you bought the house together and the deeds are in both your names, get a solicitor involved and get her to sign it over to you.

If the house has depreciated in value then you owe her nowt.

You weren't married, there were no kids involved.

If she's in debt and living at home, why are you so guilty about it, it was her choice to end the relationship.

Why feel guilty because you're in a position to pay the mortgage and she's not.

Exactly. It's over, move on.

[Clippy]

Gosh, that is a really good sensible idea.

MODERATORS: Someone's posting sense in General!

Burn the heretic!

Your right, I don't know what came over me.

Bumfluff - post a picture of here naked and then we will be able to decide whether she is worth it.

[deano]

The more I think about it, the more I think you should consult a solicitor.

After 9 years, wouldn't the lady in question have common-law wife rights? If a marriage of 9 years broke up the wife would be entitled to quite a payout as she would be able to claim that she contributed to the house and/or your business by either direct financial input from her earnings, freeing you up to invest in your business, or that you were free to concentrate on running the business as she looked after the house.

If she consults a solicitor they may have some advice that is contrary to your own interests, so get one of your own to find out what is and is not in store for you.

[Bumfluff]

Nah she isnt entitled to anything under the common law thing I dont think that law applies in the UK there was something in Scotland but not UK.

I agree I owe her nothing, she does have a tiny amount of equity in the house of a couple of £k but if the house prices keep going down there will be not equity left by August. My argument is that I am taking the house on just to get it over and done with quickly and to stop her having to paying the mortgage so I'm doing her a favour.

I might just offer her £2k it would be worth it to get it done.

[OwlHoot]

Now's your chance to draw a line under the relationship "officially", in case there's ever any dispute or she sues you in desperation.

Give her the £5k or whatever, *but* subject to her signing an agreement drawn up by a solicitor that this is a full and final settlement for her share in the property and any other claims, regardless of future price changes or changes in circumstances of either of you.

[SallyAnne]

Split with ex of 9 years in June, she left me we weren't right for each other, it wasnt mutal at the time but I agree now it was for the best.

Anyway cut a long story short cant shift the house so I said I would take it on but not pay her anything for her share, reason being is her share is worth 0 now due to housing crash, I said I would take house on to get it over and done with. She is 32, living back at home, has no money and big debts she is now asking me for some £5k-£10k, part of me feels I should help her out but then the other part of me thinks I dont owe her anything we werent married no kids.

Do you think I should give her a few k just to get it over and done with or stand firm and tell her no, my mum recons I should give her £5k.

Were you keeping her when she was with you? I'm just wondering how she is financially worse off living with her folks than she was living with you? Doesn't she work?

I'd want to know how long she was living with you, and what she actually contributed to the house before I committed on this one.

1) If she paid half....then she gets half.
2) If she paid *bits* - like a few bills, or bought the food, i.e. yous had a workable arrangement...then it's more of a grey area.
3) If she was just a free loader riding on the back of your job - never working and never paying anything for stuff, then I'd say definately dont give her a penny! She probably left you for someone else, and that hasn't worked out.

So the grey area is the middle one...you probably wont legally have to pay her anything I bet, but you should try and use your moral guidance on this one. Listen to your mam - they're hardly ever wrong.

When I first met my now husband he was splitting from a lass who fit into category (2) - she paid very small *bits*. He gave her some cash from the house when she moved out (which he really didn't legally have to), but I always really respected him for it.

[norrahe]

rather than listening to us lot, speak to a solicitor who will tell you your rights and what you do and don't owe your ex.

[Bumfluff]

Were you keeping her when she was with you? I'm just wondering how she is financially worse off living with her folks than she was living with you? Doesn't she work?

I'd want to know how long she was living with you, and what she actually contributed to the house before I committed on this one.

1) If she paid half....then she gets half.
2) If she paid *bits* - like a few bills, or bought the food, i.e. yous had a workable arrangement...then it's more of a grey area.
3) If she was just a free loader riding on the back of your job - never working and never paying anything for stuff, then I'd say definately dont give her a penny! She probably left you for someone else, and that hasn't worked out.

So the grey area is the middle one...you probably wont legally have to pay her anything I bet, but you should try and use your moral guidance on this one. Listen to your mam - they're hardly ever wrong.

When I first met my now husband he was splitting from a lass who fit into category (2) - she paid very small *bits*. He gave her some cash from the house when she moved out (which he really didn't legally have to), but I always really respected him for it.

Hi,

We bought and sold two houses when we lived together, the mortgage was split 60/40 I paid 60% I paid all desposits and all the stamp duty on both properties plus all renovation costs, the bottom line figures are a total expenditure of £101k for me over the years and her £27k. In the house now though there is only £45k equity and this is dropping daily, if we sold at the best offer we have had she would owe me £ based on the agreement we had drawn up when we bought the house.

Giving her some credit she did buy stuff but mainly funiture that she is taking anyway, she did pay her way mostly but all the big bills came to me.

Legally I know where I stand and I owe her nothing, me asking the question was more a moral one than anything. I'm shifting to paying her off to be honest as others say make it a final settlement, and assign her to the past for ever.

[Lockhouse]

Just one more point - if you weren't married and you want to change the deeds, that'll mean you have to pay a second lot of stamp duty.....

[SueEllen]

I had a mate whose girlfriend left in a similar situation.

He gave her about 3K and then was going to give her more money until myself and 2 other female friends who have know him the longest individually spent time talking sense into him. (OK one of us did threaten to get his mother involved )

Seriously you owe her nothing. She decided to walk out on you and should have known by the consequences of her actions she would be financially worse off and would have to stand on her own two feet.