Why are northeners such numpties?

[Ruprect]

<opens popcorn and sits down to watch the fireworks>

[FiveTimes]

I thought you did that up North judging by the state of the women.

the quality of the northern bird is quite high

[FiveTimes]

Midlands, shmidlands. It's north of civilisation anyway, you forelock tugging oik

London can't be that civilised as it doesn't do good gravy

[Spacecadet]

I thought you did that up North judging by the state of the women.

Is there such a thing as a "southern" bird any more? I thought that the great swathes of immigration always being complained about would have bred them out.

[deano]

I thought you did that up North judging by the state of the women.

No mate. We're real men up here. As long as it has two X chromosomes we can rise to the occasion! Besides, that’s what paper bags were invented for. Two if necessary so you can put one on your head in case hers falls off.

[Ruprect]

London can't be that civilised as it doesn't do good gravy

the FT qualification of civility. I like it.

[SallyAnne]

No, it's in the midlands you pearly queen

[MaryPoppins]

the quality of the northern bird is quite high

I reckon so (but I would say that, being "Northern" originally).

[deano]

London can't be that civilised as it doesn't do good gravy

They've nowt moist to go wi' chips down theer.

[FiveTimes]

baby's head and chips with a bit of pea wet..