Originally posted by chef
View Post
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
HBOS will go next.
Collapse
X
-
-
You've never had a Porsche then?Originally posted by Likely View Postporches are for peanuts already at autotraderComment
-
I hear you can get nice ones from Wickes. Your man will be able to put them up in a jiffy.Originally posted by Likely View Postporches are for peanuts already at autotrader"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."Comment
-
Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman.Originally posted by Likely View Postporches are for peanuts already at autotrader
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie,
"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.
"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.
"You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.
"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."Coffee's for closersComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Is HMRC ‘cruelly seeking to transfer debts’ to MSC contractors? Today 06:37
- IT contractor demand climbed in August 2026 to 40-month high Sep 25 04:53
- 5 steps before your client ‘does a Foreign Office’ and puts 90% of contractors inside IR35 Sep 24 01:11
- Luke’s Story: “I knew it was a loan. But they changed the rules.” Sep 23 00:00
- I registered my company with my home address. Whoops. Here's what Companies House shows the world about you Sep 22 13:06
- The Tories’ three IR35 replacement options — but contractors are right to be sceptical Sep 22 03:51
- Conservatives to replace IR35 outright, Griffith vows — advisers who met him reveal what it should contain Sep 21 05:06
- HMRC’s tax calculation errors: why contractors must check their bill now Sep 17 05:14
- HMRC names 12 loan charge-type schemes, one with ‘Tardis’ clause Sep 15 00:12
- Inside IR35 contractors as zero-hours reform victims is why Kate Dearden must meet us Sep 14 06:37

Comment