Friday Poetry Corner

[Chico]

What Makes a Cook

If you want to be a cook
get a BOOK
A cook can't cook
without a BOOK

If you want to cook
read the BOOK

The BOOK can't cook
The BOOK needs a cook

Just reading the BOOK
Doesn't make a cook

A cook that just reads the BOOK
Isn't a cook

The cook must read the BOOK
- and cook!

For if a cook just reads the BOOK
And doesn't cook

He is a cook with a BOOK
That can't cook!

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds."
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. - James 2: 17-18

Bud Sparks

[n5gooner]

read / sing to the tune of American Pie.

Long, long, time ago, I can still remember
How UNIX used to make me smile...
And I knew that with a login name
That I could play those UNIX games
And maybe hack some programs for a while.
But February made me shiver
With every program I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep,
I couldn't take one more spec...
I can't remember getting smashed
When I heard about the system crash
And all the passwords got rehashed
The Day That UNIX Died...
And I was singing:



Chorus: Bye, bye, nroff, rogue and vi
Gave my program to Phil Levy but Phil Levy was high,
The boys on the board were sayin' "**** this, goodbye."
Singin' this'll be the day that I die...
This'll be the day that I die

Did you write the new games shell
And do you have faith in the manual?
If b:dennie tells you so...
Well, do you believe in UNIX C
Can hacking save you memory
And can you tell me why vi's so slow
Well, I know that you're in love with C
'Cause I saw your code on UNIX B
You just kicked off your shoes
Man, you cleaned up every kludge!
I was a lonely young computer geek
With a program due 'most every week
But I guess that I was meant to freak
The Day That UNIX Died And I was singin:

(chorus)

Well, for ten weeks we've been in this class
The professor really is an ass.
But that's not how it used to be...
When Ira Pohl taught in CIS 12
And user limits could go to hell
And there was still space on UNIX C.
And while the board was looking 'round
The Chancellor brought the budget down
The classes were adjourned
Evaluations weren't returned
And while Huffman read a book by Pohl
The CIS board made some prof's heads roll

And we wrote programs that weren't whole The Day That UNIX Died
And we were singin'...

(chorus)

Helter skelter in the summer swelter
I went in the lab to find some shelter
Ninety degrees and risin' faaaaaasst!!!
C stayed up for ten whole days
The hackers really were amazed
Wonderin' how long it all would last.
Well, both the forums were really great
Nobody got us all irate
We had a stroke of luck
The system was not ****ed
'Cause the hackers kept their code real clean
The UNDR-shell was really keen
Do you recall what was the scene
The Day That UNIX Died
And we were singin...

(chorus)

Our programs were all in one place,
UNIX had run out of space
 With no time left to start again...
So, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
Use every programming trick
'Cause UNIX may soon crash again...
And as I watched the system fill
My login process would be killed.
 The system just went down
Consternation up at Crown!!!!
The hours went on into the night
And all that we could do was rite
I saw Dennie laughing with delight
The Day That UNIX Died And he was singin'...

(chorus)

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some stat lab news
 But she just cursed and said "grow up"
I went down through the stat lab door
Where I'd learned of UNIX years before
But the man there said that UNIX wasn't up
And in the halls the students screamed,
The majors cried and the hackers dreamed,
But not a word was spoken
The Vaxes all were broken
And the three folks I admire most
The Father, Frank, and a.g.'s ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The Day That UNIX Died
And they were singin... So bye, bye, nroff, rogue and vi
Gave my program to Phil Levy but Phil Levy was high.
The boys on the board were sayin' "**** this, goodbye"
Singin' this'll be the day that I die...