Co-Workers... what to do?

[HeliCraig]

I am posting again, I am not being laughed at. As farm as I am aware only 1 other person (possibly 2) use this forum.

Having now spoken to 4 other people, all are in agreement with me that the outburst was unwarranted and there are better ways of airing your problems.

Perhaps my biggest mistake was posting on here - as it is hard to explain the full situation easily on message boards and people mis-construe your postings.

That said, I don't think I can be accused of stabbing anyone in the back. I have posted an accurate account of events as I see them. If the other person, or anyone else in the building, wants to comment then I am more than receptive. As I have said: I am not saying I am not without fault.

[HeliCraig]

Would you want to work with someone who stabs you behind your back?

Just out of interest - how is this physically possible? Would I need to have my back removed so I could stand behind it to be stabbed?

Sorry for being a pedant!!

[EternalOptimist]

I am posting again, I am not being laughed at. As farm as I am aware only 1 other person (possibly 2) use this forum.

Having now spoken to 4 other people, all are in agreement with me that the outburst was unwarranted and there are better ways of airing your problems.

Perhaps my biggest mistake was posting on here - as it is hard to explain the full situation easily on message boards and people mis-construe your postings.

That said, I don't think I can be accused of stabbing anyone in the back. I have posted an accurate account of events as I see them. If the other person, or anyone else in the building, wants to comment then I am more than receptive. As I have said: I am not saying I am not without fault.

Dont look now, but there is someone called toastiness who lurks here occasionally, I think he has a toaster and works at your place

[Dow Jones]

Worse things have happened

Not the end of the world, is it? Nobody has died or anything. Just brush it off and learn from it. What I and others have said - and applies to all situations, not just yours - is if you are 100% professional in what you do:
a. such things may not happen
b. if they do, you will always come out on top, even if you don't say a word (best not to IMO) - he who laughs last...

[unemployed]

Just contact these guys http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTax...RC/DG_10010579

Always works for me.

[Ivor Bigun]

Just out of interest - how is this physically possible? Would I need to have my back removed so I could stand behind it to be stabbed?

Sorry for being a pedant!!

"He who wields the knife, never wears the crown".
Reporting "gross misconduct" is only useful to you if it materially benefits your employer.
Just reporting "People Issues" marks you down as someone who has difficulties with his peers - especially if it happens for a second time.
It doesn't matter how justified you feel you are - it is the type of complaint.

It will be interesting to see how many people support you publicly; I'm sure it will be less than those who have done privately.
Longterm, the reflection on you WILL be negative. Not only that, you will have poisoned your working relationship with the other guy - your managers will know that.
Thats why I say, be prepared to be "let go" next time (hopefully not)
The only way is to resolve the difficulty amicably (at least in front of people) with the minimum of fuss.

[dang65]

I'm not sure whether this guy who had a go at you is:

1. One of those stressed-out types. Best response: Take the piss, ruthlessly.

or

2. One of those Grande Fromage contractors that think they run the place

Best response: Act as if you're completely oblivious to their posturing - if they try to put you down in front of others then wait till they've finished, leave a slight pause, perhaps roll eyes, then carry on as you were, ignoring anything they said.

The second type usually get the message very quickly and become friendly. In fact, two of the best people I've ever worked with were like this when I first met them. They just don't suffer fools gladly, so all you have to do is show that you aren't a fool and they'll be fine.

I think you've got the first type though, by the sound of it. Unfortunately, you may have missed the opportunity to destroy them with your wit.

[meridian]

"He who wields the knife, never wears the crown".
Reporting "gross misconduct" is only useful to you if it materially benefits your employer.
Just reporting "People Issues" marks you down as someone who has difficulties with his peers - especially if it happens for a second time.
It doesn't matter how justified you feel you are - it is the type of complaint.

It will be interesting to see how many people support you publically; I'm sure it will be less than those you have done privately.
Longterm, the reflection on you WILL be negative. Not only that, you will have posioned your working relationship with the other guy - your managers will know that.
Thats why I say, be prepared to be "let go" next time.
The only way is to make up with him (at least in front of people).

Most decent managers would see the conflict for what it is, and appreciate that it had been brought to their attention so they could mediate and deal with the issue. If they are both do quality work and are required team members, then it doesn't matter whether they are contractors or permies - what matters to the manager is team harmony and getting the project completed.

As a manager I'd rather be aware of the situation and spend some time chatting to each party to resolve their differences so they can kiss and make up rather than spend a few days interviewing and recruiting a different team member.

[Ivor Bigun]

Most decent managers would see the conflict for what it is, and appreciate that it had been brought to their attention so they could mediate and deal with the issue. If they are both do quality work and are required team members, then it doesn't matter whether they are contractors or permies - what matters to the manager is team harmony and getting the project completed.

As a manager I'd rather be aware of the situation and spend some time chatting to each party to resolve their differences so they can kiss and make up rather than spend a few days interviewing and recruiting a different team member.

Meridian, thats not the case for the OP's situation.
The OP involved one manager with the grievance and now he is reporting it upwards . Do you think they want to know?

Also, lets say you're a project manager, would you put these 2 people together again?

If the OP is a contractor, he has to learn not to rock the boat by making enemies.

[HeliCraig]

Meridian, thats not the case for the OP's situation.
The OP involved one manager with the grievance and now he is reporting it upwards . Do you think they want to know?

Also, lets say you're a project manager, would you put these 2 people together again?

If the OP is a contractor, he has to learn not to rock the boat by making enemies.

Ivor, wasn't reporting upwards. Just our immediate managers (we have two really). We are both contractors, and have worked together fine in the past. His work is more project based and mine is more "ongoing."

We are in a slightly odd position of both having longer term (yearly) contracts which are normally renewed - the vast majority of the department is the same. Which leads us to behave in a lot of regards like permies...

This is a mistake I shan't repeat - I will sort it out myself next time I think, although it has ended up well. I am all to aware of "blotting my copy book" though.

That said: I have just had an apology email from the chap concerned admitting that he was out of order.

I replied explaining I am not perfect either, and understand that he has a lot of work on at the moment. Offered to help in any way I can - including being quieter!

Thanks to all for you advice, abuse and all else. Special thanks for the parody thread - that is genius!!