Annual letter from the CSA... anyone else?

[ratewhore]

Give the CSA a call (or whatever they call themselves these days). They'll be able to tell you. I don't have a link as this is what my solicitor and barrister told me.

Quick google found this though, on some solicitors site:

Either party to a court order for child maintenance made after 3 March 2003 may refer the issue of child maintenance back to the Child Support Agency by giving 2 months' notice after 12 months from the date of the order, even if no state benefits are being received. This does not apply to existing court orders in place prior to 3 March 2003.

[Moose423956]

That what her solicitor says. What does yours say.

Haven't spoken to one.

She could try getting a job. While she is maintained, she won't bother.

She's got a job, a very good one in fact.

Thing is, we're trying to keep it all amicable so the kids don't get too upset. I'm willing to pay a bit extra to keep it that way. Don't want to start arguing about money. As my Dad always said "I'd do anything for a quiet life".

[Moscow Mule]

Haven't spoken to one.

I would.

She's got a job, a very good one in fact.

If she earns more than you, perhaps she should be paying maintenance to you?

Thing is, we're trying to keep it all amicable so the kids don't get too upset. I'm willing to pay a bit extra to keep it that way. Don't want to start arguing about money. As my Dad always said "I'd do anything for a quiet life".

Well that's up to you, but (personally) I wouldn't want my finances to be shafted because I didn't take the right advice in the beginning.

[Platypus]

Thing is, we're trying to keep it all amicable so the kids don't get too upset. I'm willing to pay a bit extra to keep it that way. Don't want to start arguing about money. As my Dad always said "I'd do anything for a quiet life".

So, jointly, you're trying to keep it amicable. And if you were to get advice that said you would be paying far more than necessary, and that you are endangering your finances for the next 10 years, and you propose less than 40% what will the problem be? She'll kick off, it will stop being amicable, the kids will become upset, and that's all your fault? Despite the fact that you were trying to be reasonable.

IME, when a wife wants to stay "amicable" that means "everything on my terms and I won't kick off, stop you seeing the children, and bad mouth you to the kids".

Consider that your main priority is looking after yourself so that you can remain and continue to be a good (and sane and financially secure) father to your children.

I know that this must be a difficult time, and bitter old barstewards like me trying to give advice is probably the last thing you want, but consider that bitter old barstewards ended up that way because they once got shafted too.

[oracleslave]

So, jointly, you're trying to keep it amicable. And if you were to get advice that said you would be paying far more than necessary, and that you are endangering your finances for the next 10 years, and you propose less than 40% what will the problem be? She'll kick off, it will stop being amicable, the kids will become upset, and that's all your fault? Despite the fact that you were trying to be reasonable.

IME, when a wife wants to stay "amicable" that means "everything on my terms and I won't kick off, stop you seeing the children, and bad mouth you to the kids".

Consider that your main priority is looking after yourself so that you can remain and continue to be a good (and sane and financially secure) father to your children.

I know that this must be a difficult time, and bitter old barstewards like me trying to give advice is probably the last thing you want, but consider that bitter old barstewards ended up that way because they once got shafted too.

Sage words indeed imo.

[ratewhore]

IME, when a wife wants to stay "amicable" that means "everything on my terms and I won't kick off, stop you seeing the children, and bad mouth you to the kids".

I concur, apart from the last bit, she never did that...

[Peoplesoft bloke]

So, jointly, you're trying to keep it amicable. And if you were to get advice that said you would be paying far more than necessary, and that you are endangering your finances for the next 10 years, and you propose less than 40% what will the problem be? She'll kick off, it will stop being amicable, the kids will become upset, and that's all your fault? Despite the fact that you were trying to be reasonable.

IME, when a wife wants to stay "amicable" that means "everything on my terms and I won't kick off, stop you seeing the children, and bad mouth you to the kids".

Consider that your main priority is looking after yourself so that you can remain and continue to be a good (and sane and financially secure) father to your children.

I know that this must be a difficult time, and bitter old barstewards like me trying to give advice is probably the last thing you want, but consider that bitter old barstewards ended up that way because they once got shafted too.

WHS

No kids in my case, but she wanted maintenance anyway - up to that point I thought we were being reasonable (and I thought I knew her). Why would any self-respecting adult with a good job expect maintenance?

[roadster198]

My wife (we're not yet divorced) and I have agreed some figures, to the tune of about 40% of my net salary as maintenance for her and the kids. Is that a reasonable figure?

Just get her killed and be done with it. 40%!!!!!!

F E C K That I'd just do a runner

[roadster198]

WHS

No kids in my case, but she wanted maintenance anyway - up to that point I thought we were being reasonable (and I thought I knew her). Why would any self-respecting adult with a good job expect maintenance?

She's a burd!!! thats why. Twisted boots