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How about getting him a life? Don't know where you can buy them or how much they cost.
Rule Number 1 - Assuming that you have a valid contract in place always try to get your poo onto your timesheet, provided that the timesheet is valid for your current contract and covers the period of time that you are billing for.
Also maybe a state of the art ID holder - not one of the plebby ones security give out.
How about a stress ball and some of those hilarious workplace "overworked and underpaid/I hate the boss/you don't have to be mad to work here (but it helps!)" type gadgets like one of those rear view mirrors you attach to the corner of your monitor.
And some cuddly toys, little trolls etc.
"Is someone you don't like allowed to say something you don't like? If that is the case then we have free speech."- Elon Musk
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