Question for those with multi-thousand pound montly mortgage payments

[EternalOptimist]

That would be an excellent name for a pub.

The Felching Frottager

Probably situated somewhere in Earls Court.

Ah Bogey wan kinobe

welcome to the Felching Frottager, please step into the lacivius lounge or the bawdy bar.
On the menu today we have ham and frottage cheese, bum burger in a bun or Felch rarebit.
Guest beers include Manns, Old speckled vest and Lancaster bummer