Amusing things people say at work

[moorfield]

My late father used to keep a book of these at work - the ones I remember were

"If I died tomorrow I couldn't grumble"

"We were in this valley, with hills all round"

and

"There's a lot of people dying who never used to"

My mate once wrote on the bottom of a paper memo (when we still used to do those) "If anything in this is not clear, please hesitate to contact me" The recipient rang him and he said "you haven't read the bottom of the memo, have you?"

A little off topic but my gran has a habit of saying "Oooh, they're funny numbers" when her lottery numbers never come up.

[TheFaQQer]

www.kiva.org

Go here, provide microcredit, it will make you feel good, I promise

No governments, no aid agencies making money out of it, and it's not aid, it's a loan to people with hope.

[HYpno27]

I know it's Friday afternoon, but I'd be really grateful if you could just review this 200 page report for me before you go

[snaw]

Not quite funny, but in my team meeting this week one my colleagues (Big, bearded, socially inept but clever server dude) decided to share that he'd been sacked by his last company for downloading porn. And that he almost got kicked out of the army for selling porn.]

He doesn't drink either, makes you wonder what he would admit too after a few beers ...

[smiff]

Not quite funny, but in my team meeting this week one my colleagues (Big, bearded, socially inept but clever server dude) decided to share that he'd been sacked by his last company for downloading porn. And that he almost got kicked out of the army for selling porn.]

Got any links?

[Diver]

Isn't it about time you made the tea.

[BoredBloke]

I worked at a place where there was this guy who was a big folower of the Labour party - he gave a percentage of his salary to them. Somebody had been winding him up about this as he often used to come to work wearing his red labour tie. There were coments along the lines of him having Labour gruds on. To prove he didn't he stood up and dropped his pants - but didn't realise that his boxers were open - and out he fell in the middle of the office.