You make a statement...and then blush

[Marina]

When I first came to Denmark and didn't quite know the language, on the cycle races when about to lap they'd shout "bagfra", and I got used to shouting it as a warning when about to overtake, one day I shouted this on the cycle path on my daily commute and got a really odd look from this lady as I passed.

So when I got to work I asked what it meant: "from behind", yeah OK, so what's the problem?

Some months later in a more intimate mileau I discovered it's meaning is more like "doggy style"

I'd have guessed bagfra vas a variant of "bag frau" or "bag lady", which would have explained why the lady gave you an odd look.

Just shows - "For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant, and wrong."

[DaveB]

Taking the present Mrs B's grandmother shopping a few weeks ago, she wanted some bird food for her garden birds, so we went into the local pet superstore place.

She walks up to a young lad stacking the shelves and asks him :

"Excuse me love, have you got fat balls?"

Him : Goes bright red and doesn't know where to look.
Her : Doesnt bat an eyelid.
Us : Trying desperately not to collapse in hysterics.

Moral : Little old ladies who have been around long enough that they are past caring what anyone thinks are not to be trusted in public places.

[RSoles]

I remember one little old lady who used to frequent a pub I used.
She came into the bar one evening.

"....Cyril and I were picking blackberries all afternoon,
Ooh, I've never had so many ****** in me......"

<pub goes silent, she realises what she just said, goes bright red>

"Oooooh!"
<pub erupts>

[Bagpuss]

:

Sorry, I can't say I've ever heard of that happening before.

Does it happen to you much?

I reckon he was watching a carry on film, fell asleep and dreamt it. Either that or he doesn't get out much.

[beaker]

In a staff meeting I was attending, the manager said stunning cnuts instead of cunning stunts!

[beaker]

I remember one little old lady who used to frequent a pub I used.
She came into the bar one evening.

"....Cyril and I were picking blackberries all afternoon,
Ooh, I've never had so many ****** in me......"

<pub goes silent, she realises what she just said, goes bright red>

"Oooooh!"
<pub erupts>

I don't get it...

[basshead]

I'm guessing the word is p r i c k s

[Not So Wise]

My dear old gran used to be always saying things in public like

"Wheres my pussy?"
"I love my pussy"
"i miss my pussy"
"I love to stroke my pussy"

Us kids used to get a right laugh over it

ps: "Pussy" was her cats name

[Captain Jack]

My dear old gran used to be always saying things in public like

"Wheres my pussy?"
"I love my pussy"
"i miss my pussy"
"I love to stroke my pussy"

Us kids used to get a right laugh over it

ps: "Pussy" was her cats name

Your grandmother is Mollie Sugden and I claim my five Grace Brothers' gift vouchers.

I once went into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre, so he gave me one.

[ControlG]

My mother-in-law is from West Yorkshire and she frequently uses the phrase "Hard On" to indicate someone who is fast asleep.

Even after hearing it for over 20 years I still snigger when she says it!